Monday, December 19, 2005

Torture

Does anyone need proof that John McCain is an opportunistic boob? Here's some.

It reminds me of the conversation a lawyer friend always had with his far more intelligent wife. She would criticize him. He would protest. She would say, "Don't be so defensive!"

Falling into the trap, he would say, "I'M NOT being defensive." (Which is in itself defensive. Get it?)

That's like his Mr. Morality proclaiming, "Torture is BAD, bad, bad. Our troops should never do it!!" You can almost see his jowels shake all righteously indignant.

  1. Who is saying torture is good, stupid head?
  2. Who is saying our troops are torturing people? Provide proof and it better be better than some doofus on a dog chain or false-claims of Koran flushing (who, by the way, gives a crap about that? Use it for toilet paper if it gets one of those scum-bags to cough up a murderous plot.)

NO ONE (with a fully functioning frontal lobe) IS SAYING THIS YOU CRAZY, SELF-SERVING LOON!

But regular idiots listen to the congressman and his weasily followers pontificate about torture being horrible and awful and wrong, OH MY! (Beheading innocent people is jim-dandy-o, though, 'cause they're just uncivilized bruts who have been driven to murdering with butter knives by Western oppression, see?) and they believe all wide-eyed and head-nodding.

And now, BIG NEWS! Eminem and Dr. Dre's music is being used to TORTURE terrorists. Broad use for the term Torture don't you think? But that's just the problem with stupid legislation like banning "torture"--whatever that is. Listening to Daniel Shore drone on during his NPR essays is torture to me but music in the ears of many of my dear readers, no doubt.

It is times like this when representative democracies are worse than dictatorships. At least with a dictator you can focus your irritation. But when a Senator with the I.Q. of a lamp-post cynically uses his hard time in a Viet-Cong TORTURE camp, comes up with a law that makes half the teenagers in America torturers (their parents must suffer this, remember) and have the weenie Senate atta-boys him 'cause "he might be the next president" or "John McCain is the Maverick Moderate and I might need his vote on my pork-barrel legislation and he scares me when he's mad--that weird-looking grimace and lurchy shoulder and all" (big breath, that was quite a run-on), I want to scream. Primally.

Get a backbone you ninny-headed nincompoops! John McCain looks mean, but his day in the sun is passed. He only has power because you give it to him. He will never win the presidency EVER, ever, ever! Humor him and then vote against his self-aggrandizing, reckless law. Please.

Right now, reading the news is torture. And it's all John McCain's fault. Let's string him up.

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