Facing What Is.....

Many of us spend a lot of time wishing and hoping something or someone will change. Some go to our graves using a tremendous amount of energy that could be spent on something productive on a negative we have zero control over.

Where does this happen?

• Marrying someone you know doesn't love you and hoping that time will change "his heart"
• Wishing a parent/loved one would give up drinking/drugs/affairs
• Hoping the spouse would get a job, would treat the kids better, would take out the trash, would care
• Wanting the kids to finish college, use their talents, marry the "right" person
• Wishing a parent chose behavior that a kid could be proud of and emulate
• Wanting the parent to be the parent, so a kid could rely on him or her
• Hoping the kids will be/show gratitude for hard work and sacrifice
• Wishing a friend would dump the nasty boy/girlfriend and have some self-esteem
  

This list could go on forever, right? The nuances and permutations of friend and family woe is endless. But the root is all the same: by not acknowledging what is, by trying to see beyond what is, no useful decisions can be made about what to do today.

Life is not fair. We all have disappointments. We all (or many do) mourn missed opportunities and stupid decisions. Some of us take a healthy stock of the decisions and move on to some thing better. Some try to eat the shit-sandwich we made or are living with and pronounce it "the best meal ever made."

Wasted energy. Wasted time.

Rather like trying to continually fix a broken car--losing work productivity, losing jobs, losing opportunities--instead of selling it, putting it in a scrap heap and trying over. I know one family whose whole existence changed because they finally bought a new car. Destiny difference because they saw reality and chose a scary possibility--a car payment.

So what isn't working that ain't changing anytime soon--mostly 'cuz the thing is out of your hands?

Let it go. The first step is facing what is.