Am I a Feminist? Part IV--Tenets of Feminist Dogma

Background: Part I, Part II, Part III

There are many places where feminism and I agree.

I want fairness. If I’m doing the same job as someone with a penis, I want to be paid the same amount of money. I want procedures and business practices in place that don’t favor men or women over the other. I don’t want to be penalized in the workforce for using my breasts and uterus. One could argue that the fact that I have this biological plumbing, life is inherently unfair, but I do and God doesn’t have time to discuss the whys and wherefores with me. Since it’s a fact, I would like to be able to keep my job, if I want to stay home for a year. Maybe a graduated re-entry into work would work. Hell, a friend with a busted neck is receiving that treatment why not pregnant women? Why must a woman deny her unique biology and change to fit a man’s world? Why would so-called feminists support legislation that essentially discriminates against women?

I want respect. If the workplace is filled with many cultures and both genders, I don’t want to be hearing nasty language. I don’t want my breast fondled (happened). I don’t want a “business meeting” happen at the strip club, on the basketball court (happened) or golf course or anywhere else inhospitable to a woman. It is disrespectful.

At home, I don’t want it assumed that because I have ovaries, I also have an innate adoration of laundry, ironing, cooking, etc. I don’t want it assumed that cooking, cleaning, baking, playing, coloring, dressing, and all the other stuff is a natural, in-born gift. Much of it is drudgery.

At home, I want my husband to be as interested in the kid’s progress, as interested in their development as I am. I want him to clean up after himself and after the kids, too. That is just simple respect.

I don’t want a family life where my husband feels entitled to boss me around from his recliner ala Archie Bunker and wouldn’t know where to find a dish towel if his life depended on it.

Thankfully, my life isn’t what I describe above. And my life and my husband’s life are better for it. He has a relationship with his kids our fathers never had. We have a relationship that is better balanced. We divide labor in ways that aren’t necessarily gender-driven but talent and interest-driven.

I thank Feminism for these changes. Who wants to go back to the old days?

I thank feminism for the fact that it is not a crazy notion to know that I’ll start back in practice full time once the kids are all in school. I thank feminism for the push to get women educated. I thank feminism for pushing the notion of equal rights.

But there are ways where I do not hold to feminist dogma.

I am anti-abortion. Unless a woman is going to die, I am against abortion. I’ll get into they whys and wherefores some time and have in the past, but suffice it to say that I believe abortion is a crime against women and ultimately serves men and a society who don’t wish to support her.

I am pro-men. I like men. I don’t view them as devils and I don’t believe that women are so inherently, chromosomally superior that they wouldn’t make the same mistakes men have made given the same chances. In fact, what I see in the feminist world, is women making the same mistakes men made and calling them better because women are making them.

I view the neuterization of America with trepidation. I believe there is a useful purpose for testosterone and the inherent gender differences between the sexes. I do not hold to the dogma as some feminists do, that we are all the same and that gender differences are “magnified.” Rubbish. There is a spectrum of course, and men and women overlap in talents, etc. But there is a uniquely male perspective and I no more want the world rid of it than I want the world rid of the uniquely female perspective.

Why isn’t it possible these days to be both pro-women and pro-men? Why can’t a woman joyfully embrace her biological imperative and also joyfully embrace her contribution to the world however that manifests?

So, if you have read these posts, am I a feminist?