I'm stalling. In a few minutes I have to talk with the principal about my son and I'm stalling. These meetings bring back my school anxiety, my new kid anxiety, my people pleasing anxiety, and my ever-present nervous mother anxiety. I'm anxious and I'm stalling.
The topic du jour? What to do about fill-in-the-blank. Remember the song from the Sound of Music? The nuns wondered what to do with Maria. I wonder what to do for my son. What's the best choice? What helps him to his ultimate goal of being a contributing member of society? I always feel like I'm pushing, probably because I'm always pushing and during moments like these, I wonder if it makes a difference. I wonder if I shouldn't lay off and let time sort things out.
Parents of Autistic children are notoriously willing to try anything, ANYTHING, to help their kid. From strange diets, to special sleeping arrangements, to paint colors, to supplements, to medication, to every kind of therapy, parents of autistic kids try and do everything and a lot of it seems to help for a week or two and then the effect wears off. At least that's how it feels to me.
Okay, I'm really stalling. See ya later. Time for me to be a grown up.
Oh yes. I hope it goes well [fingers crossed]
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It went well. The principal is a wonderful woman. The school is a great environment. The individualism of autism's manifestation doesn't mesh well with the group dynamic of an institution. Trying to bridge that divide is an ever-present challenge.
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