Energy Exchange

Once, when there was a client of mine who had a product that I needed so I called her up. Both of us were starting our businesses (this was some years ago) and could use what the other had. We decided to barter. It could have worked well, but it didn't. She simply did not value my product and took advantage. The exchange got lopsided and never righted.

I felt bad about this until one day talking to a mutual friend who had also bartered with her said, "I feel really horrible and kind of angry. This bartering arrangement with this person went bad and now it is really awkward."

"Who with?" I asked. It was the same person.

Bartering is a literal example of energy exchange. Two people have products and exchange them at an agreed value. In Medieval times, this was how business was conducted.

Today, we exchange money for services and products. Some products and services are outrageously expensive but we pay for them because what we receive from them is so great. If, however, the product fails, we feel cheated--at such a great cost our expectations are high.

In relationships, we exchange love. Some people are stingy in their love-giving. Some people don't give at all and simply soak up what others give them.

Uneven energy exchanges cause dis-stress. A physical example is when we eat way more than we need--stuff ourselves to busting. We feel tired, sluggish and hardly energized from the exchange even though we just consumed raw energy.

Misplaced energy exchanges also cause problems. For example, some people substitute money for love. Security is measured in bank accounts not in support. When this happens it's like filling a car up with the wrong kind of gas--imagine filling up your Unleaded car with Diesel. It just doesn't work.

Not all exchanges are immediately reciprical. In fact, some of the best exchanges happen by kizmet. For example, when our son was in the hospital we had almost no money. A church group gave us lots (it felt enormous at the time) of help so we could make it through during a tough time. I felt ashamed by the depth of our need and the inability to pay it back. But that was short-sighted. Years have gone by since that time. Many other people have had need and we have been in a position to help. The Jewish religion calls this a Mitzvah--a good deed.

The ironic thing is that Mitzvahs often benefit the giver more than the receiver. They have for us, anyway. So the energy exchange is multiplied back. Charity, tithing and other spiritual forms of giving always increase the givers as well as the receivers energy.

When energy exchanges go unbalanced for too long, debts accrue. A business example of this is the modern day unions. Auto union workers, most of them High School educated, received higher salary and benefits with better pensions, than the college-educated white collar guys who worked in the same city. In addition, sometimes the union because their contracts would only allow a certain percentage of the workforce to be laid off at a time, would pay people to not work. One man from my church didn't work for three years and received something like 95% of his pay.

People opine about a living wage, but many of these jobs: turning a screw, guiding a piece of metal, placing a dashboard required few skills and no education and should have been viewed as entry-level jobs--not careers. Now, if no one wanted to do these jobs (coal mining comes to mind) then these jobs would increase in value. That is why people who work those huge cranes get paid huge bucks--there is great risk. Not everyone is willing to sacrifice their life energy for such tasks.

So now, unionized fields are dwindling. The plain fact is that people do not feel that a cashier at a grocery store should be paid $20 an hour. It is an unfair energy exchange.

I marvel at New York State. They have toll-booth operators who make upwards of $40 an hour--to take tickets!--when a machine can do the very same thing. This is not a fair energy exchange at all. Not to mention, these people tend to have foul attitudes. Oy!

New York State also experienced a huge protest when the transit workers went on strike. An average bus driver's salary exceeded the average teacher's salary. The utter ridiculousness of this imbalance caused fury on the part of the workers who were trying to get to jobs they needed to make ends meet for that week--nevermind future pensions.

The principle of energy exchange is important. It illuminates why we feel "drained" when around some people and why we "drain" others (impossible to imagine that our wonderfulness is difficult for anybody, I know).

Violations of energy exchange occur when someone steals what doesn't belong to him. It happens when we envy a friend. It happens, I believe, when someone gets an unearned financial windfall like the lottery. It also happens the other way when paying for a lottery ticket. The lottery has rendered NO SERVICE for the money.

When reduced to the essence, every interaction with any person, place or thing, produces an energy exchange. It may seem silly, but it is important to care for those things that care for you--your car, your bed, your shoes, your food.

Take an energy inventory. What feeds you? Is it reciprical or do you just take? When you well up with awe at the beauty of a sunset, do you say a prayer of thanks?

Many of us, bumble through life feeling used and abused which can turn into entitlement to "take what is mine" from others. This nasty attitude is destructive energy at it's worst and must be rooted out and destroyed. The only things that can change that life view is gratitude and humility. Start a gratitude journal. Pretty soon you'll see that while some people, places and things take from you, far more give to you.

Some people, strive to be "even Steven". These people keep a mental score card. You borrowed my CD, I'll borrow yours. You pay for a $50 dinner. I pay for a $50 dinner. This kind of score-keeping has no place in a loving, energetic life. It doesn't allow for unexpected opportunities to give or receive. Essentially it is an immature, childish view of giving and receiving. It is only a babyish beginning of energy exchange.

Energy exchange. It is with us everywhere. Understanding this principle can help you reprioritize your life. The principle can guide interactions--involving both love and money.

And remember: It is more blessed to give than to receive.