Thursday, December 15, 2005

Sleep Right

Sometimes I harken back to the good old days with misty-eyed nostolgia for what could still be. For example, why did we ever get rid of the Pony Express? No one has that much to say that is so insightful that it can't wait a month or two to say it. In fact, all the blabbering dullards with cell phones perpetually plastered to their auricular orifices would have to pause and consider the price of expressing every stupid thought that pops into their heads with The Pony Express.

Along the same lines of sentimentality, who decided that it was a good idea for married couples to share a bedroom, a bed and a bathroom? I mean, isn't enough that one must live F-O-R-E-V-E-R with the same person, watch them grow old and pretend not to see said person clipping his or her toenails for eternity?

Ahhhh, but that last one, could be avoided if only....

The list of inconveniences regarding too much personal space sharing is long:

  • One person wants to read late, the light is on, the other person lays irritated as heck
  • One person wants to eat pork and beans breakfast, lunch, and dinner and the poor spouse must endure spontaneous combustuous eruptions all night long
  • One spouse received the genetic misfortune of a floppy soft palate that flaps and causes window-rattling snores, the other spouse must suck it up for love
  • One spouse gets home late from work and makes more noise than a bull moose in mating season trying to get to the closet in the dark
  • One spouse experiences restless leg syndrome, hot flashes, adenoid clearings and the other spouse must feel and hear it all
  • One spouse thinks that "putting away" clothes means dropping it on the floor, the bed, and rarely the hamper
  • One spouse unwinds to the TV the other spouse believes TV is of the devil
You see the pattern here?

Separate sleeping, dressing and hygiene quarters solves soooo many problems. You want your laundry done? Do it. You want a clean bathroom? Clean it. You want to stay up 'til 2 a.m.? Fine, disrupt your own sleep. You want to fart a blue streak? You smell it.

So many romantics (most with secretly crappy marriages, I'll venture to guess) will wax elephant about cuddling, snuggling, and intimacy. Pish posh! Canoodling ends precisely two minutes after the dirty deed is done and lasts for two minutes before the hubby "feels out" if "it" is going to happen. If it's a negatory, guess what? All coziness ends and snoring commences.

Conjugal visits can be arranged. Conversational interludes can be scheduled into Blackberries.

In the olden days, marriage was a contract that included fidiciary duty and conjugal dues. Friendship was a plus. Companionship a bonus. Love a blessing.

And even if you had all that, you still didn't have to share your bed without an invitation, your bedroom without a knock on the door, and good heavens...never your bathroom.

Futurist Faith Popcorn predicted "nesting" (staying instead of going out), I predict married couples cohabitating independently. (And happier, too.)

Oh, come on! It already happens anyway: parents split up for baby care so at least someone gets sleep, menopausal women flash hot and cold and need their own comfort zone, gadget-addicted men fall asleep in the barcolounger or in the guest bedroom.

Why not bring married people out of the closet, er bedroom? Imagine a world where there are two individually decorated master bedrooms joined by a sitting room where couples may converse before retiring to their own spaces for peaceful slumber? It's going that way with his and hers closets, his and her sleep numbers, and more recently his and her bathrooms and now with both husband and wife working, his and her offices.

Let's go the logical next step: Sleep in peace in his or her bedrooms. Adorn your room your way. Sleep when you want. Share only what can't be had alone and keep your space...your own.

Most of us grow up sharing a bedroom with a noisy, smelly sister or brother, graduate to bothersome college roommates and long for the day when we have our own space. Then we get married and jump right back into the offending situation. Why? Because of cultural norms.

Times change. Cultures advance. Sometimes cultures slip up. One bedroom for two grown adults just may be one advance too many. What's old is new again! Sleep in your own bedroom and be on the cutting edge of a new revolution.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Melissa you crack me up. This is hilarious...but so true!!!!
Suggested that once to my husband and he almost had a cow. I've always had to share my room with kids as well and when I lived on my own it was so wonderful having my very own space. That somehow changes when you get married. This certainly is food for thought!
~vj

Anonymous said...

LOL funny! I'm designing my new house already...:)

Anonymous said...

Man- my comment is a little late but AMEN - I've actually been a proponent of duplex living myself. Well, a modified duplex - we can share the kitchen and a common room and I like to socialize so I'd be liberal with the invitations to my side of the duplex.

Hasn't quite caught fire yet.

I am printing this out and strategically placing it on my hubby who works late, so comes home late, then watches TV, is never hot, is a middle creeper and "pm" farter -- pillow tonight.

Anonymous said...

Whoa Doc, this is a BAD sign for you and your little roommate. My first spouse and I began to have this discussion, living separate lives because we were NOT in the right relationship. Now, in my second marriage, and many many more years than the first, we long for our time together in our bedroom, kids out, the world out. He watches tv -- ok with that. I read a book? no problem. or anything else. because you see, cuddling and all those things are REAL. You have just rationalized your marriage into a roommate situation. You need to get the magic back before it's too late.

Anonymous said...

Wow, how unfortunate for the kids to see this trend in "co-habitating" married couples. The most security you can give your kids in life is for them to see their parents TOGETHER, not doing what's more comfortable and convenient for themselves. Sounds to me like one or both has gotten super selfish and doesn't want to give an inch. Leading separate lives will only drive a couple farther and farther apart and let the affairs start when someone else outside of the marriage seems to care a little bit more and doesn't mind the accidental fart at the water cooler and might even think it's funny. A new match is made and all of a sudden you find yourself in affairville with your hubby texting someone else from his "personal space."

Mark Roberts said...

Woah! Love your blog overall, I really do, and will totally keep reading but I just have to disagree with you here and agree with the anonymous post above me.

YoYo said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區

nana said...

aaaa片俱樂部
im vlog辣妹論壇
a片城
色情情色網站
辣妹裸體自拍秀
3gp影片下載
免費情色視訊
視訊情色表演秀
無碼a片免費
YouTube真人表演
色情網站
a片免費看
無碼視訊
免費一對一視訊聊天
gogo258男同志聊天室
愛戀104
iPartment愛情公寓
成人小說
免費觀看小電影
0204情色影城
aa片試看av強暴

nana said...

制服美女巨乳
松島楓免費影片
女優影片無碼直播
免費a片影城下載
洪爺色情聊天影城
無碼偷拍a片線上看
85cc免費影城
辣妹視訊美女聊天室
無碼av女優影城
av視訊美女交友
成人網站灰色地帶
aa win666 usaa免費看aaaaaa片子aaaa片
免費日本av女優
av自拍
ut 聊天室環球辣妹聊天室 90691
辣妹視訊美女聊天室
辣妹視訊美女交友
陳水扁金庫揭密
鬼髮2
鬼片下載
OL辦公室激情
a片 倉井空免費影片
av- 侯珮岑
超級星光大道

nana said...

辣美眉show
免費檳榔西施摸奶影片
愛戀104
台灣無限貼圖區
無名相簿正妹親密照片
流精歲月情色論壇
性感名模寫真圖片
免費辣妹視訊交友
中文aa片免費下載
中文aa片免費下載
辣妹視訊
嘟嘟自拍情色網
情色視訊show
080視訊聊天室
好色成人網站
好色貼圖
av無碼秀
0204
sex女優王國
3d 美女短片免費試看
比基尼辣妹影片
情色視訊
彩虹頻道免費短片
av女優sogo論壇
85cc免費影城

nana said...

激凸成人論壇
辣美眉show
a片-夜店妹脫光圖片
櫻桃不夜城成人資訊論壇
性感內衣girl
A片紫禁城
a-享受乳交口爆的快感
免費aa影片下載城
tt 同志交友網
線上a片下載
甜心寶貝直播貼片
日本 avdvd 介紹免費觀賞
百分百成人圖片區
aaaaa片俱樂部
aa片google免費觀看
環球辣妹聊天室 90691
色色的小遊戲
69性殿做愛影片
a111線上娛樂場
浪漫月光貓貓論壇
名模寫真2009最新
曼雪兒-情色文學
高雄援交友留言
免費線上Aa片試看
成人影片論壇 台灣成人論壇 淫美成人論壇 西門慶成人論壇 筱萱成人論壇 櫻桃不夜城成人資訊論壇 一葉晴成人論壇 成人漫畫論壇 激凸成人論壇 成人電影論壇
情色文學網 情色論壇 台灣情色論壇
sex888movie影城
成人性愛影片

nana said...

aa的滿18歲影片
aa片免費看
辣妹訊網
蜜雪兒免費色情小說
日本野球櫻井莉亞
aaaa片 a片 女優
av女優火辣無碼
無名相簿正妹親密照片
免費視訊秀
383 影音 live 秀
免費色情影片觀賞
免費情色影片觀賞
免費線上成人電影
視訊情色表演秀
本土性愛自拍
美女視訊交友聊天室

nana said...

av視訊美女交友
av視訊交友
免費線上Aa片試看
線上aa片免費看影片
18禁視訊
a片城
影音視訊聊天室
A片王
免費視訊聊天
巨乳 美女
辣妹訊網
辣妹裸體自拍秀
情色QQ聊天室
msn8 1正式版下載
免費線上電影直播
情色比基尼
囧男孩下載
av女優像王怡仁
免費情色卡通
sex383線上娛樂場
aa 片試看嘟嘟
線上 aa 片試看嘟嘟
qq 美女貼圖片區
辣妹視訊 - 免費聊天室

nana said...

中文影音a片網
性愛 性愛小說 性愛影片
台灣Match交友
愛戀104
中文影音a片網
中文影音a片網
av18禁免費影城
台灣美女寫真貼圖區
網情深聊天室
台灣無限貼圖區
0204情色影城
色情網站免費觀賞
免費a片卡通
免費視訊秀
080尋夢園聊天室
1元視訊
一夜情人聊天室
性愛情慾自拍
a片頻道
辣妹寫真集
歐美a免費線上看
免費a欣賞
日本女優清涼內衣秀
小魔女免費影片
無碼AV
正妹a片免費看
小魔女自拍天堂
巨乳美女無碼影片
人妻youtube 中文網站
藝人全裸露毛寫真集圖片
限制級成人影片

nana said...

a片0204貼圖下載
免費a片影城下載
免費a片下載
線上aa片免費看影片
a片城
線上LIVE辣妹影音視訊
sogo
免費性影片觀賞
台灣男藝人上酒店
日本 av 免費 影片
台灣Kiss情色文學網
台灣優碼成人光碟
巨乳美女無碼影片
a片18成人avooo
性感絲襪短裙美女
天天情色影片直撥

nana said...

免費一對一視訊聊天
免費一對一視訊聊天
免費性影片
性感絲襪短裙美女
免費情色視訊
0204情色視訊
洪爺論壇
情色聊天
氣質美女
禁 忌 挑 逗 聊 天 室
383 影音 live 秀
0204視訊交友
080尋夢園聊天室
ut視訊交友
av女優貼圖
免費色情影片觀賞
免費線上歐美A片段觀看
偷拍自拍
比基尼辣妹影片
情色話題論壇
aaaa片俱樂部
live173美女視訊免費網

nana said...

色情網站
aaaa片俱樂部
im vlog辣妹論壇
a片城
色情情色網站
免費視訊聊天
辣妹訊網
辣妹裸體自拍秀
手機遊戲下載
梁靜茹新歌下載
色情酒店
3gp影片下載
網情深聊天室
ez網愛聊天室
ccn正妹牆
FST免費視訊聊天網
免費情色視訊
全裸視訊
成人貼圖
視訊情色表演秀
本土性愛自拍
無碼a片免費
YouTube真人表演

AdultKing said...

成人小說080中部人聊天室ut美女交友sogosex520免費影片sogo論壇avdvdplussex888sogout影音視訊聊天室13077免費視訊豆豆聊天室080中部人聊天室utjp成人18jack主入口ut男同志聊天室flashtw遊戲好玩遊戲視訊聊天aio免費視訊視訊聊天室百大正妹18jack com免費影片4u成人85cc免費影城正妹日報美女交友avhello成人電影院a38成人影片bt成人成人網站h漫kiss尋夢園聊天聯盟ut影音視訊聊天室13077情惑用具歡樂購sex520免費影片麗的線上小遊戲視訊聊天aa片子成人網站尋夢園聊天室成人論壇預言onlinekmplayer

AdultKing said...

18禁女優下載網GOGOBOX夜色網美女寫真豆豆聊天室免費a片欣賞美女情報站a片av美女go2av免費a片avav美女尋夢園聊天室成人影城百分百成人圖片聊天室ut080中部人聊天室utav片18成人成人聊天室a片aaaa片18jack主入口85cc免費影城sexdiy影城sex383線上娛樂場666成人85cc免費影城洪爺69成人bt成人flashtw遊戲18jack主入口avdvd色情網站hi5ut男同志聊天室成人卡通69成人avaaaaa片俱樂部影片av168成人sogo論壇免費視訊080中部人聊天室utav片080聊天室luna私服kiss文學區sex520123456免費電影tt1069sogo百分百成人圖片成人影片美女圖片

yurake said...

criticts for women's health are not good

yurake said...

we like the led flashlight