What makes a person snap and molest and murder? Why are men more likely than women to sexually assault as a means of violence?
This man somehow managed to justify his actions. He had planned this event and executed it to frightening perfection. Dr. Helen posits that more boys and then men, need more emotional support to head off these types of problems.
My experience has been that boys, especially young boys, are particularily fragile. With less vocabulary and a narrower emotional range, if traumas or difficulties aren't adequately supported--mostly by a loving, patient mother (we're talking before three here)--and helped to interpret these traumas, they are like a rudderless boat at sea. If, as the boy grows, he doesn't have a firm, loving father guiding him through the physically and hormonally rocky time of adolescence into adulthood, the boy is at even higher risk.
Boys seem to be more fragile emotionally and more prone to lethal long-term damage if left untended. That is not to excuse this nutjob or blame his mother and father. For every one mismanaged boy, ten end up okay. But those ten usually have someone intervene along the way.
There was debate at Dr. Helen's about it "taking a village". Group dynamics tend to dilute responsibility. There is already an undeclared war between parents and teachers, as it is, with each accussing the other of malfeasence.
One thing I notice, is that with the labelling that is so prevalent now, with teachers encouraging parents to medicate boys who don't adequately mold and with parents relieved to externalize their troubled chld's problem, challenging children are ironically, getting less support. Rather than being taught self-management skills, rather than having someone help them burn the anger and energy physically some boys are on a slow burn.
All this is not to say that girls don't have their own issues these days--not the least of which is the ever-present fear of being victimized by one of these hostile, women-hating men. The problem for women is that while a few men prepetrate these crimes, all women fear the few men. A woman is most likely to be victimized at home, by someone she knows, but high profile cases like this remind women that supposedly safe places like a High School aren't safe sometimes. When are those times? How does a girl defend herself against a crime when the problem is that she was picked because she has blonde hair and blue eyes?
It ends up being a vicious circle, doesn't it? A messed up boy grows up and commits murder and mayhem. The hand that rocked the cradle rules this world, to an extent. And then, the boy takes out his rage on other women. Possible solution? Support mothers while they mothering their young kids (don't throw them money--give in-home parenting support, if necessary) and intervene with boys once they are schooled. Social skills training would help all children and help their education, too.
I know. I know. The nanny state rears it's ugly head. Would things be better if all welfare was pulled, so women would be forced to marry the doofus they have sex with? Would any of this prevent psychos like the Colorado murderer? Or must women just learn to live with the possibility of being a victim?
