Antidepressants: Blunt Romance & Other Good Emotions

On this February 14, and in the spirit of Eros, Wall Street Journal writer Tara Parker-Pope asks "Have we medicated away romance?" The short answer is yes.

An unintentional side-effect (or, for some intentional) of most antidepressants is feeling no love and the enjoyable lust that can go with it. Even potentially more distressing, is that the drugs interfere with bonding hormones (oxytocin) which may account for "I just don't love you anymore" nonsensical reasons to get divorced. Ms. Parker-Pope (oy, hyphenated names are soooo annoying) provides anecdotal evidence of a woman on antidepressants who considered divorce, but got her drug dosage lowered and is happily married two kids later.

Two good friends of mine like keeping their husbands on Zoloft because it keeps their amorous advances at manageable levels. Another girlfriend takes some SSRI, has no libido and her husband is about to go nuts.

But that is actually rare. You would not believe the number of guys totally not into sex and the number of frustrated women who come looking for help. Then there are the men who want their wives on antidepressants because life is so much easier when their women shut up already. The drugs do that very nicely, thank you very much. So, no sex and no meaningful conversation. Ah, to have an American marriage in the new millenium.

What the antidepressants create is a hermetically sealed life: like living at the Mall. You don't get hot from the sun but you see no light and blue sky either. You don't worry about your safety during a thunderstorm but any enjoyment from a gentle rain or sultry breeze is gone. A bland, spice-free life of processed food--you might be surviving, but you can hardly say you're thriving.

Antidepressants reduce the lows and also the highs. They take away the sweet nuances of thought and feeling. They reduce empathy--so you don't feel pain for others and you don't feel your own, either. Everyone is comfortably numb.

Were these drugs created to save us from the inconvenience of feeling desires, longings and needs or worse expressing these feelings? I thought they were created to help people who would ordinarily die at their own hands or could barely function. I never imagined they were for people afraid to really live.