Friday, February 03, 2006

Grandma's Advice


A friend of mine whose wife died three and half years ago drove with us to a wedding. Still trying to absorb the pain and manage it, he is often reflective and sad. Our trip with him was an across-country type jaunt--the kind that makes or breaks friendships. We ended up having a lot of fun. While driving, and after of hours of serious life chat, he told us this story:

He was talking to his grandma about dating a woman. (Mr. Dr. and I thought a new lady, perhaps? which was fraught. Or maybe he was talking about when he started to date his beloved wife. That was interesting too, because we had just missed meeting her and enjoyed learning more about her.) He really loved this woman, he thought, but wasn't sure. She was beautiful, smart, everything he dreamed of...

"Grandma," he asked, "How will I really know if she is THE ONE?"

"Shut the door, Bob!" She yelled, "I'm trying to poop!"

When "Bob" (not his real name, I'm trying to maintain his dignity even if he has none in real life), told the story, Mr. Dr. and I sat in stunned silence for a moment. One second later, realizing that I'd been duped, I rolled my eyes. Guys are so disgusting!

One more second passed, and my husband collapsed in the front seat ("Bob" was driving) crying, he was laughing so hard. Bob's shoulders shaking and heaving started laughing so hard he was crying, too.

For fifteen minutes they howled. Months later, all that needs to be said is, "Shut the door!" and these guys laugh and laugh and laugh.

While the vile visual mildly amused me it struck the men in a very familiar, kindred, way. Laughter is a hugely bonding emotion--moreso than tears, moreso than anger, moreso than fear. Laughter is good medicine.

Laughter also:

Bottom line, find ways, even disgusting ones, to laugh more. Laughter as shared experiences can make your health and life better.

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