Asteroid Blots Out California

Now, you haven't seen that headline, but why not? I mean with every other catastrophe turning out to be snoozers, the asteroid is probably the most real threat the world has faced since.......global warming. In fact, I bet global warming is causing said asteroid to pull off its course. Yeah, yeah, that's the ticket! And, and this is most important, it is Karl Roves fault. Because, of course, he knows (wink, wink) that if California plunges into the sea, the U.S. goes Republican for generations to come.

Buwahahaha!