UPDATE: Dr. Helen links to me and says this about my point of view:
Yep, just another pathetic loser who wanted some reproductive rights--shame on him!Well, I'm for restricting everyone's reproductive rights--including women's. I believe abortion-rights have denigrated a woman's place in society. I believe that women have been the second biggest losers due to abortion. Ultimately, children have lost the most--their lives. The child, or as a commenter so sensitively put it "a piece of tissue", has no rights. None.
When two consenting adults choose to have sex, certain responsibilities are implied. Get rid of abortion and put the responsibility back into everyone's hands. Suddenly, men suffering with foisted fatherhood are joined by the women who suffer the same. Since men won't protect themselves and choose to believe a lie so they can have more enjoyable sex, maybe women will get serious about birth control. Or not. At least everyone would be in the same sorry boat.
And for those who decry this as a throw-back to the bad old days, I'd like to remind you of the costs already borne by society because of responsibility avoidance. Just what we need: more welfare moms.
A woman lies to a man and gets pregnant. She might do this because she has always wanted a baby, the guy seems like a nice guy or has good genetics, and this is easier than artificial insemination. She might do this for some or none of the aforementioned reasons, plus she knows he'll support the baby . Or, she might be hard-hearted, calculating witch with a "B" and want the man's money--she has to take the baby as an unfortunate side effect.
This is a very bad woman. If you've ever read the Bible, Proverbs burst with scriptures warning men, especially young men, of this exact kind of woman. Flirting eyes, seductive words, scant clothing, she's the devil incarnate and will put this man in a world of hurt should he fall prey to her charms. I have also known sweet, conservative-looking, conniving women who use coercion rather than communication and lie to get what they want.
For every one of these evil women, there is at least one man willing to be duped. It's the same old story, "I wanna get me somethin' for nothin'." There is no such thing as "free" sex.
Now, why am I talking about this topic? Because Dr. Helen Smith, wife to Instapundit Glenn Reynolds, a clinical psychologist who's interested in Men's Issues, takes issue with Dr. Phil, psychologist to the stars and Oprah disciple. Dr. Phil had a segment about men who wanted more control over their reproductive destiny after the fact--that is, after they have reproduced--the same way women do. That was Exhibit "A". Exhibit "B" was a man who wanted more children than four and his wife was balking.
There are many issues here:
- Dr. Phil's forum and format irritate a lot of people. The men who watch him feel like he caters to his women audience and sell out men's issues for ratings. Men, and Dr. Smith, too, feel that Dr. Phil promotes misandry and has a very public forum and does great harm.
- Men should have the right to not support a child they don't want and were deceived into creating.
- Men should have a say about whether or not to have children if he is going to support them.
- Society's most discriminated segment is men. They are the new victims.
- All the daytime shows are a depressing cobble of mindless mush. The people are exploited for a little fame. All I could think about watching the segment I saw of Dr. Phil was the poor child caught between two complete morons. The mother actually allowed the baby's picture to be seen. The sperm donor allowed it, too. What is wrong with these people? As long as there is an audience, there will be someone to cater to them. Enter Dr. Phil. I'm not sure what can be done about that.
- Until a man possesses a uterus there will be no such thing as fairness in childbearing and rearing. Period. A dear friend of mine complained that the mother of his child "deceived me and said she couldn't have kids". My response, "And you believed her?" I laughed at him. Come on! That's the oldest one in the book! This woman saw a successful businessman's pocketbook, knew he was the type of guy who would "do the right thing" and exploited his desire to have sex without a condom to get at his money. And, and, he ended up raising the child because she cheated on him, got into drugs, spent some time in the Big House. She is despicable person. All he has to show for it is a beautiful young man who is smart and funny, who we all love. But yes, my friend went through hell in the process. I'm old fashioned this way: as a woman who gets pregnant when the thought just tumbles through her head, I know how easily "mistakes" happen when all birth control works perfectly and no one wants to procreate. You mean to tell me that a man has no responsibility if he buys a woman's line about her fertility? How about if she didn't lie but "oh shit" happens? What then? You see how fuzzy this all gets? What a mess in the courts. In my book, the way things are is the only logical (if unfair--boo hoo-to the man) way: when a man has unprotected sex, he makes the decision to trade that moment of bliss for a lifetime of baby. Would Dr. Helen or all the ranting men at her website like to pay for these babies with tax-payer dollars? Why, yes, that's exactly what I read somewhere. Um, no thank you. The two irresponsible people can deal with the consequences.
- So the next man on Dr. Phil want more kids and the wife is putting on the breaks. The men cry hypocrisy! Dr. Phil supported the wife who said no, while saying a man should support a baby he never wanted. Totally different situation, in my book. My personal philosophy is that she or he who doesn't want kids, doesn't want to have one more, wins. In that case, the guy who is determined not to have more kids anywhere is free to go get "fixed". It may upset his wife. Tough nuts. (Pardon the pun.) Conversely, if a woman doesn't want to have any more, she's done. Both partners have the choice to divorce and go find their Angelina Jolie and built-in family, ala Brad Pitt, do they not? Otherwise, forcing children on a spouse who doesn't want them is a terrible thing to do, either way. Men, does this sound fair to you? Now, more kids is another thing. A guy should be able to force his wife to have another? Are you kidding me? Until he owns the bits and pieces, he's going to have to live with this "unfairness." A woman could rightly retort that dealing with a parasitic growth is unfair. I've had girlfriends who were deathly ill their entire pregnancy. I know women who have died in the birth process. Is the man, husband, willing to compensate the woman for this risk? Have we really reached this place in society?
- Men are the new victims. Welcome, men, to the horde of pathetic losers claiming their life is ruined by someone else. Wallow along with the rest of us, will you? Isn't that nice? Dr. Helen thinks men should unite and fight for their rights. It's already happening. And it is crazy. In this men's movement, no thought is given to the children. Oh, yeah! Them....
I find it fascinating when social libertarians decry the nanny state and then turn around and create a whole new class of people requiring the nanny state. Who will pay for these unfathered children? Not all are born to wealthy women--these are the lying skanks looking for a paycheck, remember? So should men be able to terminate contact, the woman is forced to raise a child?
But she isn't forced, say the Libertarians. She could have an abortion. This is another area I differ. I believe abortion is an abomination for this very reason. It already is used as coercive men. Wives who are told their husbands will divorce them if they have the baby and must decide between marriage and keeping her current kids with their father, and divorce and separation from family. Girlfriends, daughters are coerced to save the man a tough time. I also know of women who tell their boyfriends or husbands, "I'm doing it and there's nothing you can say." And men have similar decisions to make.
And meanwhile, millions of babies die because of selfish, amoral people. This hard-heartedness has created a despicable culture where women and children receive less respect. Men are not respected as a protector--women act as if they don't need them and men don't want to be needed. Everyone is turning in to a gender neutral selfish robot seeking personal gratification.
Yup, sounds like an absolutely fantastic way to build a society.