Wednesday, December 20, 2006

James Rago

Hi, my name is James Rago and I use big words. A lot. It makes me sound smart. Plus, I'm an influencer. Plus, I get paid to be an influencer. Plus, I am way better than bloggers.

I'm really cool. And you're not.

I'm dumbing this down because I'm smarter than you and I want to you to understand my point which is that you are not smart.

Wait! A better way to illustrate your stupidity is to use big words. Here's some good ones:

  • fatuities
  • logorrheic
  • solipsistic
  • ecumenicalism
  • vastation
  • instantaneity
  • valorizes
Ha! Ha! You don't even know you've been dissed, yo! Sure I could have used the words foolish,
excessive talking (unlike my post which is succinct and cogent), self-centered, universal, devastation, instantaneous, and value, but that would have been so plebeian. Since I, of the storied Patrician class, thinketh elegant thoughts, I must express myself thusly. I wouldn't expect one such as yourself to understand.

Au revoir, peasants. I must be off to tend to my tres importante editorial duties.

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My favorite sentence in James Rago's rant:
People also like validation of what they already believe; the Internet, like all free markets, has a way of gratifying the mediocrity of the masses.
Which is in stark contrast to the Mass Media. What a pompous ass.

Jeff Goldstein says this and I'm still giggling:
Rago: “No, no, no! You don’t dip me into the Beluga like I’m some barbecue-flavored Pringle, you insufferable...thing. Instead, you delicately smoothe the caviar across the white of my belly, then nibble me with gentle relish, allowing the burst of essence and oil to dance along the tongue and the curve of the palate.