Wet Fish Handshake

Seth Godin reminded me today of the horror that is the "wet fish handshake". Any person who wants to make a good impression with people must master the handshake. Here's the deal:

1. Extend arm with authority
2. Hold firmly around the person's hand (ladies do NOT leave your hand in the middle of the other person's hand like you're in Victorian England--and men, if you do this, I must fight the compulsive urge to throw up)
3. Don't linger, don't flee. Count to two and be done.
4. Don't do the hand-over hand. If you're that cozy with someone, give them a hug.
5. Men, don't kiss a woman's hand. Just. Don't.
6. Don't include any pump action in the shake. Just shake the hand.

Simple. No more wet fishes. And if you have this problem, practice over and over and over and over until it is expunged from your repertoire. It must go. Jazz hands are a close second, but we'll deal with that another day.