Tuesday, March 20, 2007

What's Love Got To Do With Marriage?

A lot. And nothing. Ace quotes Garrison Keillor who gets why gay marriage is such a queer idea.

Just to offend absolutely everyone in one blog post: abortion should be banned because it is unfair (obviously) to the child and to the father who has no say in the matter. Likewise he should pay mandatory child support whether he got deceived and donated his sperm or whether he thought he loved the lady and now doesn't. He will support that child through college based on his financial ability. Period. Yes, everyone suffers. That's what parenthood is all about. Adults sacrificing for their children. It's about the children.

Likewise marriage is about the children. It is not about the romance or the intellectual stimulation or the companionship or the shared activities or self-realization or even about the love; if all of those are a part of the relationship, that's a bonus. Marriage is about a solid foundation for a child. The love for the child should keep the marriage intact. The only time a marriage should be broken up is when the child is harmed. (And yes, children are harmed when mom gets tuned up. And it is abusive for her to subject her children to that.)

All the people running around living out self-actualization fantasies and believe fulfillment comes through getting needs met and achieving and finding that place, man, should leave parenting to the grown-ups. The downside is that means leaving sex to the grown-ups, too, 'cuz ya never know. Know what I mean?

Aside: How far have we slid as a society, that this even needs to be spelled out?


carol said...

Agree 100% (though I don't know what you mean about mom getting "tuned up").

My parents got divorved back in 1953 because my mother "just wasn't happy." When I tell people that they say, well there was probably some abuse they just didn't tell you about.

No, they just weren't happy. And guess what, my mother was never really happy after that either. Those kind of immature attitudes and expectations are what make me oppose gay marriage.

Let's just say my Inner Child can't go along with it.

Melissa Clouthier said...

"Tuned up" is a euphemism for abuse. Divorce puts the children in the position of parenting the parents. Consider this:

1. A child must be the one to refrain from talking bad about either parent or else risk causing more problems. If the parents stay married, they have to be the ones to try and keep their disagreements hidden.

2. A child must be the flexible one--friends at both parents places, changing to different sets of rules. When parents stay married, they must be flexible around the child's needs.

3. A child must comfort the betrayed, lonely parent and take up extra tasks because a household is a lot of work. So the child is given responsibility disproportionate to development. The parent doesn't want to comfort the child because the ex is a hated villain and to bring up the child's loss reinforces the necessity of the parent--and the parent decided the ex wasn't needed.

The list continues. The child forced into this situation often delays their own maturation because he never had a real childhood. Parenting, too, is delayed because the child of divorce doesn't want to put his own kid through that.

The cumulative effect is an immature society.