American Idol Results: Please Send Haley Back to San Antonio

What she said. And she said. But I'll be live-blogging the results anyway. Because I have things better to do, but don't want to do them, and isn't that the definition of blogging anyway?

See ya in five.

Here we go. As a side note, I agree with Ann and Anchoress, J-Lo impressed me more than I expected.

Group effort: Jordin's voice soars over scary Phil's. Otherwise, the song, bleh.

Opinions about Idol kids--man on the street stuff. I've been to that mall. Ha! Who's Chris? That's what I'm sayin', too. Good-bye Chris. That's my prediction. I'm in the pool over at Brendan Loy's place. Maybe I'll be right this week. Odds are against me, though.

Akon singing. More personality in his little toe than all the Idol contestants put together.

Freaky Ford commercial. Sanjaya into Melinda-Aiieeeeeeeeeeeeeee! LaKisha looks so uncomfortable. How would she be an Idol? She's not okay in the skin she's in.

African kids cute--making fun of Simon's moobs. (Man boobs, if you must know.) We're you thinking what I was thinking? If we can adequately educate 10 kids with $185, what the hell are we doing in America? And with all the trees killed by loads of paper and homework, that chalkboard looks really good. I've wondered why we don't still use them. Talk about environmentally friendly.

Perhaps it's the five years without TV but I am very disturbed with the provocative commercials during a family show. Venus razor and Victoria Secret bras? Come on!

Phil goes low.

Yahoo Haley is low!!!!

Toying with Sanjaya.

Chris is in bottom three.

Well, I'm wrong. Chris is staying. Phil is "just blessed to be here." Video of J-Lo's butt. Family show. Family show! Ugh. She's singing in Spanish. Hola, Ms. Lopez? Besamé and all.....but si no hable Espanól. Oh well, she sings with passion and confidence and demonstrates her talent as an entertainer. She truly seemed kind. I like her a lot more than I did before this show.

Scary commercial: Disturbia. Do you notice all the scary, supernatural, freaky movies?

Haley goes home!!!!! It's harsh, watching that retrospective video and then having to sing.

But now she's singing and I'm really glad I don't have to hear her anymore. More than any of the other remaining singers, her voice makes my stomach feel like lemon juice mixed with gravy straight up. Hurl.

Let's hope next week is better.