Sunday, August 12, 2007

Can This Marriage Be Saved?

A fascinating, if longish, article from The New York Times about group marriage therapy. The main characters are Clem and Marie. I left the article wondering if they would make it.

Marriages seem to have personalities as much as people do. The two people mutate and change in relation to the other and become another entity. Some feel that this new personality is an improvement. Some are disturbed by the new personality they've created. When analyzing personalities there are four views:

  1. The part you see about yourself and others see too
  2. The part you see about yourself and others don't see
  3. The part others see about you, but you don't see
  4. The parts that are hidden from you and everyone else
I think marriages have these same dimensions. Just like it was difficult to predict which babies would live in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, marriages can be mysteries, too.

When contempt enters though, this much is known: the couple will likely divorce.

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