Monday, May 12, 2008

Breast Is Best.....But Holy Mother of Madonna Wean The Kid Before Puberty

Well, then. One of my loyal readers sent me this link about, wait for it, an eight year old who still breast feeds. Go watch it and then come back for my nourishing commentary.


Lest you think I'm a repressed Western, bottle Nazi, let me assure you: I believe breast is best. My own ta-ta's bear the side-effects of nursing all three of my children for 18 months, two years and two and half years respectively. They all essentially weaned with a bit of encouragement from me. But they all were weaned in a timely manner.

Here's a tip: When the kid can ask mom to lay off the broccoli because it's changing the "nose" and "finish" of the milk, it's time for table food and maybe some good stuff from the Rhone region.

Has the world gone completely mad? And did you see the freaking dad? He nurses too? Avert your eyes Christian people because can I hear a WTF? Thank you. That little bit of sharing was so damn disturbing. Dude was not talking about a little yum yum to go with some some. Oh no, he needed emotional and physical sustenance too, and who was his crazy ass wife to deny him? That was rhetorical because she didn't.

Somewhere between the women who wouldn't let a baby touch her nipple so she can keep her perfect tits perfect and the eight year old suckling there's a balance. I dunno. You'd think a sensible woman could find it.

And while we're on the topic, I want to talk about women whipping their boobs out to nurse their kids. Full frontal disclosure again: I've publicly nursed. That is, I have nursed in public, but I don't think anyone ever noticed or saw boobage. It's called discretion. Now some repressed people don't even like the idea of a woman with child in public. Tough nuts repressed people. When a baby is hungry, there is no easier method of feeding than breast feeding. And I know women who were all judgmental until they birthed their own kid and had a choice between a disgusting public restroom and discrete public nursing. Guess what they chose?

However, some of you women, you know who you are, get a charge out of freaking people out. You linger. You flop it all over. You let it hang out while you're searching for your child's melon and orifice. Matching them up seems to take an extraordinarily long time. Your neighbors avert their eyes. Polite company focus intently on their PDAs. Other family members try to not throw up. Come on! Have some respect. If you're going to nurse in public, at least figure out how to do it without being a soft porn flick.

My rant is over. So, of course, I want your opinion. What do you think?

Age a kid should be weaned by:
3 months
6 months
one year
18 months
2 years
3 years
4 years
as long as the kid and mom want free polls


Amy Jo said...

Interesting post as I am dealing with trying to wean right now. He just turned 2 and I must admit, I feel embarrassed when people find out he is still nursing. My other two just stopped on their own, so I've never gone through this process! I just picture in my mind him getting "topped off" before he gets on the bus for school!

Sister Honey Bunch said...

So. Very. Wrong.

Viola Jaynes said...

What amazed me is that this girl started in on her mother's breasts with someone else in the room interviewing her mother. She was not one bit embarrassed as it seemed to her that all children sucked away like she did. The little girl seemed also very babyish to me for being 8.

It would be interesting to hear Psychiatrist discuss this as to the emotional and psychological benefits of being on the breast this long.

Unfortunately, my two weaned themselves too early. My son was 9 months and my daughter only 5 months old. With my daughter, I could not seem to produce enough milk. I wanted to breast feed them at least 12-18 months. Oh well, both of them seemed to be doing pretty well despite it.

Lorne said...

Lots of kids don't want to give up their diapers. Should we wait until they "want" to use the toilet before potty training? Of course not. There's a certain age at which it simply isn't reasonable or practical for a parent to be expected to shoulder the burden of changing out a kid's diaper. Same with breastfeeding. A Mom can't forever be whipping out a teat whenever their kid wants a snack. What parent would allow a kid to suck his thumb after 4 years old? How much less her breast? And how do the children in this video see their mother? As an independent person to be respected or as a pair of breasts with a head attached? And how much MORE difficult will it be to stop breastfeeding an 8-year-old than a baby who isn't old enough to appreciate the "rejection"?

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