Seth Godin: Tell Me Lies, Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Remember that Fleetwood Mac song? Yeah, me too. Ah, the 80s....

Anyway, I just referenced Seth Godin, but this post is even better. He talks about the questions we ask not really wanting a truthful answer. And then, heaven help the Cassandra that delivers the message you, in all your beautimous perfection, don't want to hear.

Why do we do this? Why do we set other people up in the position of either lying to our faces or telling half-truths to save us from THE PLAIN TRUTH. Because we really don't want to hear it, so we really get bad feedback and end up isolated and ignorant.

We had to let a person go from our employ. The truth is that she was lazy, unresponsive and recalcitrant. She wouldn't take the initiative to do even the bare minimum and had to be prompted on those things. She was very angry when we told her that "we're hiring someone full-time for the position and since you can't work those hours we'll have to let you go." This was part of the truth--but not all of it.

She would have been angrier if we had told her the whole truth. But why do that? As Dr. Phil says, "Some people just don't get it." She didn't. I doubt awareness would come suddenly if we told her the truth. Unfortunately for her, she'll never hear, even if told I'd bet, a message she needs to hear for the good of her future.

I can understand it. Who wants to be told about their shortcomings? No one. It's painful. It might confirm a secret fear. But without the feedback how in the world can you correct it?

When we don't ask the questions to get the answers we need to hear to become a better person, spouse, friend, family member, co-worker, employee, etc. we are deprived of vital information and we do it to ourselves. So ask the tough questions and be willing to hear the answers. You'll be better for it.