Rules of Customer Service

Disney World has a rule: Under no circumstances may a customer be told, "I don't know" when answering a question. The proper responses include, "Let me check for you" or " I'll ask _______ she has been here longer" or holy Toledo an actual knowledgeable answer!

That should be Rule #1 of customer service: Always know or find out an answer right now.

Rule #2 of customer service Seth Godin alludes to in his recent post about customer service language usage. It is: We will do our best to make you happy. What Seth says is that people often use the word "can't" when they mean the word "won't". They could do what you want but they are chosing not to often quoting some obscure rule or regulation. But we all know that almost every rule can be broken if the customer is important enough, spends enough, etc.

A friend of ours tells his customers flat out: if you make this much in sales you get these perks. The perks include keeping the customer's desired product in stock and with it waiting, never to be sold to someone else, for them when they need it. Customers like being special. They like knowing what makes a special customer so they can shoot for specialness.

Rule #3 of customer service: Apologize, make it right and throw in a freebie or discount a service when you screw up. It is unbelievable to me how many companies routinely deliver lackluster service or make chronic mistakes and the best they can do is, "We're sorry, ma'am" and a blank stare. What?

When a company flubs up, it should hurt--them. That is a self-imposed incentive to get it right the first time. But many companies actually, inadvertantly create incentives to mess up. For example, by creating huge quotas where margins are thin, sales reps are actually rewarded for "the kill" but not "the care". What if their bonus structure included customer feedback? What if they got rewarded more for happier customers? Then they would have an incentive to not only get the sale but to make sure the customer has everything he needs.

My recent Nice Electronics transaction is a case in point. Not only did my purchase finally arrive just today--nearly three weeks later than expected, so much for my husband's birthday-- it arrived in shoddy packaging. It was a mess. The HD 32" TV sat in the heat on a train and then the UPS truck over the weekend (that was the driver's fault). But the original packing was bizarre! Who ever put a TV in a box of those little peanuts? All this and I paid extra for Next Day Air but they sent it ground.

In addition they didn't include a cable that was promised as a "throw in" for making such a big purchase. When I received everything, that wasn't there either. I totalled about four promises that weren't delivered by this company. Unbelievable.

Retail is competitive. Wouldn't you think that superb customer service would be a way to differentiate you from the other guys?

I guess that is why Disney is so special. You get more respect there than just about anywhere else. Customer service isn't magic yet after repeatedly disappointing experiences elsewhere, I pine for the truly Magic Kingdom.