Sunday, September 10, 2006

Remember 9/11

My husband is none too happy with me right now. I was watching Sunday Morning and they are, like everyone else, doing a 9/11 retrospective. So far, I've sobbed through Peggy Noonan's piece on the sounds, on dying with grace, on the power of belief to transcend even death. The tears come just thinking about anything 9/11.

And that's why my husband is none too happy. I'm determined to watch the ABC Miniseries that has everyone's panties in a bunch, hokey or not, 100% accurate or not. I'm watching. I'm remembering. I feel it's the least I can do. My husband thinks it restokes my misery (and his) and that it's unhealthy.

9/11 wrecked me emotionally when it happened and I'm still not "over" it. After crying, the anger came. It came in a big way.

I'm a Christian. "Vengeance is mine," says the Lord. Never in my life have I desired vengeance like I did when the sick depravity became all too clear.

Give me a gun. Give me a ride to wherever these bottom-dwellers hide. Let me loose. I want to kill someone, anyone who could do this. They must be wiped from the earth. Utterly destroyed. Vanquished. Eliminated. Done.

Anything less, and they might breed. They might multiply. They will destroy everything if given a chance. I fear they are being given a chance. And it still Pisses. Me. Off.

When it comes to 9/11 I'm just not right. Grieved and enraged, still.

Had I not had babies and responsibilities and an old, flabby body, I would have enlisted. Not because I like war or killing. Give me a break, I cry at Bambi. But I love my children. I love my country. And this life we love, this blessing we routinely take for granted deserves protection.

So you see, anything that gets me all stirred up isn't good in my husband's book. I rant. I rave. I cry tears of sadness and frustration. My mood darkens for days. I stalk the house like a caged animal. The helplessness sticks in my craw.

If I thought for a minute George Bush wasn't going after them with everything we have, on their turf, with their lives, homes and livelihood to lose, I'd call for his head. That's why the border thing has me irritated to no end. It's a security issue. He, and Congress, need to get it through their thick skulls and stop fooling around.

"I'd really prefer that you not watch that tonight," my husband says as I type this. He is a kind and wise person. He worries about my blood pressure and mental health. There is a truth in his concern.

Right now, I say, thank you for caring, but I'm watching.

What do you think?

Update: I guess I'm not the only one still angry. Instapundit has more.


Sharon said...

I don't know if I'll watch the 9/11 mini-series or not. I was a wreck five years ago from the televisions coverage, hope for survivors which was crushed by reality, the anger, the sense of helplessness, etc. I seriously think that I became an internet news junkie on 9/12/2001. It didn't take long for me to realize that I could easily be paralyzed by the sight and sound of the news. I couldn't NOT watch on 9/11. I accomplished nothing that day other than watch television and cry. Nevermind I had two small kids that needed me to take care of them. So, even to this day, each morning and several times throughout the day, I get on-line and look at the news. I NEED to know if anything BIG has happened and I can find out what's going on by reading it. I can be selective when it comes to subjecting my emotions to a roller coaster ride or TV coverage of events. I HATED the feeling of anger and frustration and knowing there was nothing I could do to make things right. sts

Anonymous said...

We all need to watch and remember! We need to get angry and stand up for what we believe. Our enemies want us and our children dead. We can't love them over to our way of thinking. No matter how much the p. c. nambie pambies think that will happen! Yes, I'm pissed!