Deer Me!

When I read this article, I just knew Ann Althouse would have already posted on it (I think she's on an earlier time zone than me or, she doesn't have children to get ready for school in the early hours, but I digress...).

When does an animal cease to become an animal?

Ah yes, falling into the inane legal world where the definition of a word really isn't the definition. Or more specifically: what is the actual definition--since what we have always understood as the definition may very well not be the right definition as defined by Judge Smarter-Than-You.

The legal world might be inane to me, but to Ann, it is a rapturous place to be (which is good since she's a law prof). She says:

One thing I like about law is the way it can become important and serious to answer what would otherwise be a pointless, stupid question. Earlier this week, everyone was talking about whether a burrito is a sandwich. (It mattered because there was a contract barring a second sandwich place at a shopping center.) Today, the question is whether a dead animal is an animal. It matters because a man who had sex with a dead deer is charged with the crime of having sex with an animal:

By the way, a burrito is not a sandwich. Which the law held. So Panerra Bread Company will have to suffer a Mexican food joint in the same strip center.

My answer to the dead deer question: Of course it's a deer. If someone screwed my dead dog, I'd want to shoot him. I mean, what is wrong with people? To a libertarian, if no one is hurt, then go screw a dead possum, what do we care? This is why I consider myself to have libertarian tendencies but can't consider myself libertarian. Whew! That's some crazy s@#t!

Ann continues:

Note: Here in Wisconsin, a court dismissed a criminal case when it found there was no written law making it a crime to have sex with a dead human being. The prosecutor -- faced with behavior that is far more serious than some idiot having sex with a dead deer -- didn't try to argue it was a rape case.

Added observation: The expression "slippery slope" is grossing me out here. I'm thinking of the raw liver in "Portnoy's Complaint." (There's a search-inside-the-book function at the link, so go ahead and relive the excitement.)

In Wisconsin, the phrase "there oughta be a law" comes to mind. Are you kidding me? Sex with dead everything is well within bounds?

Is there no such thing as abnormal anymore? And what about the threat to others? All manner of disease is carried by dead "carcasses" human or animal. So it won't be illegal until we find out that XYZ Disease is passed by "human to monky" contact (spelling error purposeful).

Actually, more likely, the Carcass Loving Association of People (CLAP) will lobby for a vaccine because a disease born by having sex with a dead animal or human is not a cause-effect consequence. People just need to accept different cultures and lifestyles.