Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Who Pays?

Back to the subject of defrauded men--men who did not father children, played the roll of father or at least sperm-donor--and are on the hook for child support whether they get custody or not (or want it or not) or share DNA or not.

Jeff Goldstein is the latest to post on this topic. It's a regular discussion over at Dr. Helen's. I've posted on it before here and here.

I will synthesize my position:

  1. Divorce is evil and destroys children.
  2. Cheating is evil and destroys marriage.
  3. The new paradigms for family present all kinds of moral problems and ultimately harm children.
  4. Any type of fraud is evil.
  5. Divorce law is inherently unfriendly to children. Separating a child from one of his parents by force causes grave consequences.
  6. Abortions are evil.
  7. Sperm donation is evil.
How's that for no shade of gray? My ossified stance has come from observing how the nuances end up creating big problems like the one Jeff mentions where a woman cheated on her husband, got pregnant with twins from another man, lied to her husband when confronted, he raised them for five years, the marriage deteriorated, he took a DNA test, it ends up he's not the father, and he is being forced to pay child-support for someone else's genetic kids, but the kids were raised by him and believe he is their dad, and the mom has moved out of state with them.

Our society treats eggs and sperm and embryos and fetuses and children like they are nothing. Our society violates marriage vows, cheats and deceives without fear of consequence. These issues are dealt with legally and no thought is given to the morals of the situation.

Family law reveals a hard-hearted nation. It's sickening. It might be legal, but most of it ain't right.