Monday, April 23, 2007

One Square A Day--UPDATE Sheryl Crow's Personal Requirements

What woman in the Western world uses one square of toilet paper? You know, when Laurie David and Sheryl Crow talk like this, they sound insane or insanely privileged. Do they even wipe their own rears or are they so squeaky clean that TP is unnecessary?

Can you go too far with bloviating? Not if you're absolutely sure of your own moral authority. Between Al Gore and Laurie David and Sheryl Crow, the American public are going to be completely turned off from any ideas of caring for the planet. Sheesh. Who doesn't care about their environment? Most people want to keep their plot clean. Most people want to recycle. Most people would love a vehicle that got 500 miles to the gallon--if there was no loss of power. It is just good stewardship. Not to mention, I for one, would really like to not have to rely on the benevolence of Middle Eastern oil cartel member's generosity for fuel. But that's not what this toilet paper stupidity is about. It's all about finding religion.

And, most people already have a God and religion, thank you. And the first law isn't to remember Gaia. Do the save the earth types realize they sound like IRS agents with OCD? For every thing a person wants to do, there's a rule. A person can be a complete jackass, but if she uses one square, she goes to heaven.

As an aside, I think that there is one thing Gore, David and Crow have in common: a search for something to believe in and a search for personal meaning. Gore lost the presidency and has sought to matter to someone, anyone, ever since. He needs a stage to exist.

David and Crow are searching for mission. They need a child to mother. The children of the world will be their children. They need to get out of the theoretical and get real: have a child. Grow up and learn what parenting is really like. These ladies are like the childless women cluck-clucking at the public park about "kids these days". Spare us your discipline theories, ladies, and make them real. Even the uber Material Girl has been forced to grow up some. At the very least, having children keeps you so busy, that you can't, even if you want to, enlighten the world with all your pet ideas all the time. Children help focus the mind.

Too many people have too empty lives. It's not that caring for and keeping the environment isn't a worthwhile goal. It's that there is absolutely no perspective. Using toilet paper to imbue one's life with meaning is just....lame. Get into church. Listen to a sermon. Giving sermons on toilet paper squares just sounds as superficial and vacuous as your lives must really be. It's pathetic and out of touch.

Update: Instapundit links to Crow's requirements when she is on tour.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

I don't think it's insane to not use a wad of toilet paper; I only use 1-2 sheets per urination. I don't think we need legislation for it, though.

I have a kid, too. He's cloth diapered.

Chalmers said...

Where can I buy this shirt?

Crow has also commented on her website about how she thinks paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness".

She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a "dining sleeve".

The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve" after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth.

Chalmers said...

The number of squares is not the issue, the issue is an attitude of waste. People that dive around a parking lot for a half an hour to save 15 steps, but you can't legislate that either.

Melissa Clouthier said...

Anon,

If you are able to use one square, more power to you. I guess I'm just not interested in listening to a jet-setter who uses more energy on a year-long tour than I'll use in a lifetime lecture me about the environment and, oh by the way, cut back on your toilet paper use.

Anonymous said...

anon 12:41 is very resourceful.:-)
I got ticklet over this post. Oh my!

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