Friday, April 25, 2008

Girls and Sex and How What Goes Around Comes Around....

How is it that our culture is over sexed and at the same time, no one is getting laid? What is the deal? And why do people have such exciting premarital sex lives and then it comes to a screeching halt once marriage hits? Do women feel like they have "bought" the relationship with their bodies and now associate bad feelings with doing that? I wonder.....

John Hawkins has an interview with Carol Platt Liebau who wrote the book Prude: How the Sex-Obsessed Culture Damages Girls (and America, Too!)". It's worthwhile to read and I thought this bit about side-effects of sex too young was particularly important:

They include regret, anxiety, shame, the inability to trust men, and trouble forming permanent committed relationships later. You know, John, it all makes sense. If you're the kind of young woman who doesn't understand why it's important not just to have sex with any guy that wants you to, you're probably going to be prone to seeing some of the less attractive sides of male behavior. If you see that over and over again...it's going to be difficult to learn how to trust men because you've never gotten to see the finer or noble side of men. Of course, it's going to be difficult to forge long term relationships later, because if you don't trust men, then on what basis are you building when you finally find a man you'd like to spend your life with?
And this goes both ways. When men habitually treat women like objects to be used, and then decide to finally settle down, they shouldn't be surprised that they meet up with a woman who has been treated just the way he's treated other women. Suddenly, it bothers him, though. He loves this woman and doesn't like the idea that other men treated her so poorly and then he has to pay the consequences. What goes around, comes around and all that.....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

My wife and I were virgins when we married at 27, and we are happily married more than 15 years later. We both decided that waiting was the best thing for both of us, and we have never regretted it.

Our oversexed culture tells us that if something feels good we should be able to have it, as well as be able to avoid negative consequences. Our bodies are hard-wired to react a certain way in the midst of and after sexual intercourse. Hormones are released that promote closeness for the woman and jealous affection for the man. In their proper context of marriage, these things can cement a relationship's strength. When used outside of that permanent relationship, sex creates stress, anxiety, and pathological jealousy (hence the phenomenon of the stalker ex-boyfriend).

I don't pretend that it is easy for anyone to control sexual urges. I wish, however, that a culture so obsessed with sexuality could be honest about the impact that giving in to those urges has on many aspects of our lives.

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