Thursday, April 24, 2008

Quityerbitchin'.....Every Once In A While, At Least

Oh wah! Life. Is. Not. Fair. Get used to it and be thankful it's not.

Today, I was reminded of this simple truth when I bid farewell to my dear sister as she moves to the next phase of her life in another hemisphere on another continent and just when I was starting to like her, too. Not fair!

Today, I was reminded of this simple truth when I read Rachel Lucas' rant about tax credits for parents when she, a responsible, single, pay-through-the-nose, employed woman is getting oppressed by the man just because she chooses to leave her womb barren. Not fair! (Kinda, read the comments. Personally, I think it's not fair that Rachel isn't writing me a check for actually producing progeny who will be wiping her ass in her old age, but whatever. It's all a matter of perspective.)

Today, I was reminded about this simple truth when I read the men commenting about their wives never ever ever ever having sex or desiring it ever again. They are stuck in a sexless, seemingly hostile, relationships. Well, they're as stuck as anyone is who lives in a country where a divorce is relatively easy to come by. Not fair!

Today, I was reminded about this simple truth when the Wall Street Journal writer Brett Arends suggested stock piling staples in the face of fierce inflation. I was still smarting from filling up my glorious gas-hog of a Suburban. It's going to get worse. Not. Fair.

In fact, if I let myself think about it, I have a great bloody list of grievances. Life is not frigging fair! I'm sure you can do the same thing. That's one of the allures of blogging actually. Every day, I can spend bitching about some injustice and there are plenty of them. And the stupid government and Leftists create more daily, so I have multitudinous ways to complain.

Still, most of us have it pretty damn good and need to stop once in a while and remember that. Gratitude is a great elixir for what ails us. Let's face it. We Americans are spoiled rotten. We have more stuff than we need. We have more ways to communicate and stay in touch. I was considering this recently. I have a couple deaf friends. Not too many years ago, communicating with them would be a challenge, but now, between texting and IMing and webcams, I can stay in touch. Ditto military personnel. Ditto my friend in Australia. Ditto my sister half-way around the globe. So far away isn't so far. That's a huge change. Consider soldiers in WWII waiting, waiting for mail at the front. Now, soldiers can stay relatively connected. Isn't that awesome?

Not that life is easy. Shit. We all have huge burdens that we carry. I have yet to see anyone who is spared difficulty. Right now, a friend's son is literally pulling out his hair. He has cancer, like I told you guys before, and now, his hair is falling out. He is six. Thankfully, he thinks it's cool to pull out chunks at a time. Another friend's baby needs cranial surgery and the surgery has been postponed twice. And then there are the hundreds of children being ripped from their mother's and the only life they've only known. This is a big deal here, locally, and service groups are at the ready to help these poor children.

Even with an unfair life, is it possible to not get everything we want and be happy? I think it is. In fact, it is my recommendation that you try to find happiness before things go well. For many years, I thought that I'd wait to get happy until certain things happened. That gave a lot of power to people and circumstances that didn't seem to give a hot damn whether I was happy or not. So, I spent a lot of time waiting and being miserable. An interesting thing happened, though, when I decided, fuck it! I'm going to be happy whether fill-in-the-blank happens or not. For me, this was the beginning of a life change.

Now, I still bitch and complain, a lot. I mean, I don't have to tell you this. You come here (hopefully multiple times a day) and you know this. So, I'm not trying to be all pollyannish. It's just that, having gone through some really, really shitty times, it's beneficial to back up and take stock and be grateful when things are pretty decent. Things could be worse.

You know, "fair" would be my kid having cancer too, right? "Fair" would be lacking food to feed my kids. If this world were fair, if life were fair, many of the great things in my life wouldn't happen either. Fairness is overrated. It's just better to be grateful and happy here and now, while working to fix the injustices.

And don't worry, I'll still be bitchin'. I just wanted to take a break for a minute and acknowledge that life is pretty good.


Anonymous said...

I could not agree with you more on this. Great post!

Sister Honey Bunch said...

Great post Melissa!

And I can't believe your sister is moving so far away. How exciting for her.

Rachel Lucas said...

Now hold up! I did not "rant", my entire statement about it was one paragraph and ended with a question simply asking people what they thought about it. Jeez!

I also said nothing about being oppressed by the man. Just for the record.

And trust me, if your kids are wiping my ass in old age, they will be paid handsomely for it THEN.


Melissa Clouthier said...

Hey Rachel,

I took some liberties.....true enough. And your post and the comments bring up good points. My point was only that in order to have someone around to wipe your ass (which you will, indeed, have to pay handsomely for and even more so if there is less population), somebody has to have kids.

Anyway, most likely, by the time we reach old folks home age, there will be robots that will take care of such mundane needs as ass wiping. We can hope.

Wayne said...

"Anyway, most likely, by the time we reach old folks home age, there will be robots that will take care of such mundane needs as ass wiping. We can hope."

Unless your picture is 20 years old, so that you're tottering on the brink of old age now, that's probably a pretty safe hope.

Melissa Clouthier said...


The picture is a month old, thank you very much! So, unless, I look far younger than you think I am (are you following this), robots should be just the ticket :)

sandy said...

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