Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Welcome to the Frakking Dark Side, Wachel

You guys have known, for some time, that my blog husband is Brendan Loy. Yes, yes, we've discussed the minor detail that he's married and spawned a cute little turnip with his wife, Becky. But whatever! Oh, and there's the small issue that he's jones'n for Obama. And oh yeah, he likes some Catholic team that sucks...can't. place. the. team. Ah well, we have our minor differences and I ignore them, because, otherwise, Brendan is super fantastic and shares so many of my arcane interests it's like we're twins, but then, we couldn't be blog married. That would just be nasty.

Watch out, Brendan, you have competition. I'm officially in love with Rachel Lucas. I'm shocked, too. Men have always been my thing, but sometimes, you just are caught unawares. You guys saw it coming, probably. The crash helmets for safety. The ebullient use of the word "fuck". The insightful opinions on everything political. The crush became too much to hide when she made it first on my list of lady bloggers. Rachel is so much more than a super awesome blogger: she's a super awesome TV watcher. She binge watches TV. She hears about good shows, ignores them and then gulps them down in a spasm of gluttony. All my life, I've traversed this little blue marble thinking I was the only, only one. And today I found my TV soul sister and I just feel....complete somehow.

I've binged watched TV shows multiple times. Only one show gave me gastronomic distress: Sex and the City. Like chocolates, the SATC episodes are meant to be taken one at a time over time. Watching them altogether made me physically ill, killed some IQ points and basically turned me into a cynic about all things women and single, but I digress. Back to Rachel and her awesomeness. She has finally decided to imbibe in the perfection that is Serenity and Firefly. She knows now, like Adam knew Eve, the sublime, frakking fantasticalness of Battlestar Galactica. And yes, she learned the way it's best to learn (the way I learned, so of course it's the best), by gulping them down whole. Here's what she says:

So I decided to post about it, because I know some of you nerds watch that show and maybe sometimes you want a nice, safe place to go to where you can talk about Cylons and Lords of Kobol and frack and how intriguingly sexy President Roslin is. So here you go. You’re welcome.

UPDATE: I can’t believe I forgot to mention this, but guess what is driving me completely fucking bonkers? Check it out. About a year ago, I watched one episode of Firefly. Loved it, then got busy. At birthday time last week, I remembered it and how bad I NEED to see the whole series (one season! it’s a travesty!) and the Serenity movie, so I put them both on my Amazon Wish List. Both were bought (thank you, givers - you will be getting a personal card in the mail), and the Serenity disc has arrived, but not the Firefly disc!

Do you see my agonizing dilemma? It takes ALL MY WILL not to go ahead and watch the Serenity movie just to get my fill of Nathan Fillion and Summer Glau and Jewel Staite (I have serious borderline lesbionic crushes on those last two). But I know it will be better if I wait and watch Firefly first. So I am waiting, and it hurts. Hurts so bad.

You know, Rupert, I don't want to frighten you, but you really picked a horrible time to decide to be called up by Uncle Sam and go serve in Iraq. I hear that you get a long weekend with Rachel coming up. You better make it count, buddy. I hope it's comforting, to know that she'll be well cared for--at least in cyber fantasy land.

Hey, don't judge the love.

Plus, just to remind you guys of my dork cred:
Tigerhawk asks, "Is John McCain a cylon?" My only thing is this: Why'd they go and make a cylon with a faulty arm? Does it have some special fighting capability? Is the arm actually weaponized? That's my theory. It's not just an arm, it's a diversion and a weapon. Makes him look old, but he could kill you. I believe that anyway. McCain scares me.
And there's this about Joss Whedon's possible misogyny. And if you're not a big enough nerd to know who Whedon is, I guess I'll just have to tell you. He's the writer/director of Firefly and also of Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I'm sorry, mom. I really am sorry. Why couldn't I be like other girls and watch Desperate Housewives? It's a relief to be out of the closet.


Sister Honey Bunch said...

You are totally gay for Rachel!

Rachel Lucas said...

OH. MAH. GAWD. We are living parallel lives, woman!

I did the SAME THING with Sex and the City. I did. It's true. Never saw it when it was on HBO, and about 2 years ago, watched one episode on WGN or whatever, and as it was just as I was going through my divorce and about to turn 35 and

I was in a fragile state of mind to say the least so I thought, "yeah. I'll watch a show about sassy, sexy, 35-ish chicks who get what they want when they want it! Girl power!" I said I was in a bad state of mind, okay? So I proceeded to rent the entire series from Blockbuster over about 2 weeks.

Well, it was exactly as you said. The first few episodes, great. Then I started realizing that I HATED these bitches. Especially Carrie for being so fucking self-centered. Did you have the same thought I did, watching that show, that there is NO WAY IN HELL the other three would ever be friends with her?

Anyway. John McCain is a Cylon, I have it on good authoritah. And I have a crush on you too so if you want, we can go elope. It'll shake up the whole blogosphere and we'll get famous.

P.S. I got your email and am writing you back. Oh yes, I have been to SEP. It was an....interesting experience.

Melissa Clouthier said...


I gotta tell ya, going the gay, is way better than people tell ya.


Stupid gets annoying at a certain point and Carrie is just plain stupid. And I found her unbelievable as this sexy character. Sorry. Sarah Jessica Parker doesn't sell as sexy. She tried. And I don't know if you found this, but after watching all the episodes together, I was so freaking depressed. The emptiness of their lives. The crushing narcissism. Like I said, little bites. Altogether? Hurl.

RightwingSparkle said...

Never knew one could have a blog husband!

I have to go find one!

I also detested Sex in The City. Everything that is wrong with women today in general is personified in that show.

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