Why Your Sex Drive Sucks

There are many reasons people have low sex drive. Guy friends find this amazing, but there are men who don't have any sex drive either. This makes for frustration all the way around. There are solutions to low sex drive, but behavior will have to change:

1. Hormone imbalance--There are many causes for hormones to be off. Low fat diets, either too much body fat (increases estrogen production) or too little body fat, sluggish thyroid function, perimenopause for women, low testosterone for men, etc. It is one of the first places a person should look for low sex drive. Daily exercise where a person works up a sweat and a diet changes can make a huge difference here.
2. Medication--Blood pressure, cholesterol lowering, birth control pills, antidepressants, anti-anxiety meds and many, many other medications can kill sex drive. For those of you with blood pressure problems or cholesterol issues, know that you are trading sexual function for the luxury of eating your macaroni and cheese without stopping your heart. There are trade-offs. I've had a diabetic tell me with a straight face, "I'd rather die than stop drinking Coke." Well, okay, some of you are trading your sex life for the pleasure of eating junk. Just be aware that that's what you're doing.
3. Messed Up Priorities--Do you really have to watch Sports Center again at 11:00 p.m.? You had a window and it slammed shut with your wife's tired eye lids. Get the kids to bed before your own bedtime. Putting kids to bed at 10 or 10:30 makes for sexual frustration. You're just too tired to do it. Turn off the TV, the computer, the book, the phone calls, the kids, the housework, whatever, and get in bed in time to have sex.
4. Body Discomfort--Or, for men, you hate your wife's body. Rarely do men not indulge in sex because they're ashamed of their body, but women are often ashamed of their flaws and avoid sex just so they don't have to get naked in front of a guy. Men, you can go a long way to making your woman feel sexier. Tell her how hot she is. Touch her. Make it clear that you like her body the way it is and she'll be more likely to give it to you. Women, get over it. He doesn't care. He just wants it.
   
5. You Hate Your Lover--Oh, you don't want to admit it, but there it is. Sex requires a certain amount emotional engagement. Some men and women find themselves nearly impotent because they cannot imagine having sex with him/her. Their drive is gone. Men are as prone to psychological impotence as women, here. It's called unresolved anger. Find a therapist and resolve it.
6. Masturbation substitutes for the real deal--It's faster. It's easier. It's less demanding. It can be fit in to the routine. It's convenient for the emotionally stunted who have trouble in a mutual relationship. Whatever the issue, it's a substitute. Maybe it's not no sex drive, maybe it's misapplied sex drive. If you're in a relationship, it's unfair to divert the attention away from your mate.
7. Busy-ness--This is related to messed up priorities. A packed schedule demands rescheduling. Sex is important to the contentedness of a relationship. Put it on the schedule. The fatigue that comes from stress and running around must be dealt with for there to be enough energy to even want sex.
   
8. Physical or mental illness--Depression kills desire....for anything. Anemia causes fatigue that interferes with any activity. There are many illnesses that cause problems with blood flow and energy. The underlying sickness needs to be dealt with first. The low sex drive is secondary.

Sex drive is a complicated thing. The most important thing to bringing it back is the desire to have it. There are many women and men who just don't care about it, which might be fine for them. But a relationship means trusting the other person to be there for you in this way. If you're not willing to get thing straightened around for you, how about trying to for your partner?

A healthy sex life can make life a lot more fun for everyone.