Yesterday, I wrote about feminism's unintended consequences--namely that women end up feeling compelled to make one choice or else they betray the movement's ideals. That choice, to forgo having children in order to make their career mark, denudes women of their biology and deprives them of a choice.
Before I get to feminism's deleterious affects on men, I'd like to write a bit about the victim-mentality that has seeped into the DNA of even the most powerful of Western women. I am, of course, alluding to Hillary Clinton. Peggy Noonan wrote a must-read piece about great women leaders and how they never made excuses or blamed prejudice for their place in the world. Noonan says:
It is sissy. It is blame-gaming, whining, a way of not taking responsibility, of not seeing your flaws and addressing them. You want to say "Girl, butch up, you are playing in the leagues, they get bruised in the leagues, they break each other's bones, they like to hit you low and hear the crack, it's like that for the boys and for the girls."First, I'd like to say how pleased I am that Peggy Noonan reads my posts seeing as how "butch up" was the phrase that got me in trouble with the menfolk (well, some of them). It's nice to know that I'm on her radar. Second, to Ms. Noonan's point: Hillary Clinton embodies the problem with the women's movement. She was a party to her husband's victimizing of women and turns around now, to decry her own victimization. By whom? She does need to butch up. She has the benefit of being treated just like a man. She is not being condescended to. She is not being patronized. No, she is in a fight for the most powerful office in the land and she does women no favors when she weeps in self-pity and cries sexism when she's in a tight spot.
And because the charge of sexism is all of the above, it is, ultimately, undermining of the position of women. Or rather it would be if its source were not someone broadly understood by friend and foe alike to be willing to say anything to gain advantage.
Eh, I'm not going to get to men again, today. I'm going to just stay with the victim mentality. It is tiresome and ubiquitous and it is holding women back. A woman will not ever become president if she plays the poor little girl. A woman will not receive respect at work or at home playing the victim. Even Jesus chided the martyr Martha and that was in a decidedly paternalistic environment.
Women who carry their victim status as a prized possession limit their world. Let me just be clear here: it's stomach turning to see anyone throw a protracted pity party. Who ever said life was easy? Women who want parity in what they describe as the "man's world" need to stop making excuses. They need to embrace equality. That means when a woman makes an accusation that sounds outrageous, the women who hear it will slow down, wait and reserve judgment because that's what a reasoned person, male or female, does. When they jump to the woman's defense because she has the benefit of ovaries, they make women look foolish.
I'm as eager as the next woman to see a great woman leader emerge in America. I don't see how it's going to happen when women continue to see themselves as victims. When Nancy Pelosi surrounds herself with her grandchildren and claims the power of her ovaries first and the power of her ideas second, women are bound to be viewed as ninnies.
Does this seem counter to what I wrote in my last post, where I wrote that fully buying feminist dogma limits a woman's choices--specifically motherhood? Well, here's the deal: a strong woman is a strong woman. The whole notion that a woman is weak by being a mother insults mothers. Conversely, a woman is not innately superior because she can birth. That belief is as sexist as believing that men are superior because they have testes.
Leadership means having bigger ideas, more internal fortitude, further foresight, deeper wisdom. Any person who exhibits these traits will have followers. Viewing oneself as a victim runs directly counter to being a worthy leader.
Feminism ceases to be relevant because to be a feminist is to be a victim. Any self-respecting woman wants no part of the victim talk. They want to be victors in all their endeavors. Success means being the best at whatever path one chooses. Real women wait for the post-feminist world where people are valued for their character and their accomplishments. Scratch that. They aren't waiting, they're created that world now. Feminists are being left behind.