Divorce: Free Lawyer's Advice at Podcast with Glen & Helen

Over at Dr. Helen's listen to a podcast on Divorce. Unfortunately, a huge chunk of people need this advice.

Here is what one lawyer told me: Divorce is war. Treat it that way.

I'm not sure about the advice, but my experience with clients and family is that it certainly feels like war. There are many casualties, too. The uncoupled partner, of course, must recover from guilt, shame, embarassment, betrayal, loss of trust and self-confidence. This is no small thing. The amount of insecurities a divorce causes a person are too many to count. It is the RARE person who feels great the day the papers are signed and move on triumphant. I think it is important not to candycoat the process. More than a few people regret going through the divorce process and remarrying only to find themselves sitting in the proverbial fire.

It makes me think of the old saying,"Wherever you go, there you are."

Other interesting things people say when marrying the person who will go on to make their life heck:

• He/She is my life. (Do you really mean that you'll die without him or her?)
  
• Meeting you was just like going home. (Did you like the home you grew up in?)
• I love him to death. (That might just happen.)
  
• It feels like I've known him/her my whole life after just one conversation. (You have known this person for one hour. You know this person as well as anyone can know anyone in one hour.)
  

Advice from the podcast:

1. Research indicates that family and friends pick better spouses than the person. Get advice.
2. Except for heinous situations, most judges won't give you the satisfaction of blasting your ex for their horrible ways.
   
3. Divorce is always Lose-Lose and if there are children: Lose-Lose-Lose.
   
4. Same amount of money supports two households instead of one after divorce.
   
5. If you're going to get divorced, take the high road. Think a little bit more about doing the right thing instead of "winning."
6. Don't disparage spouse to friends, family and most of all, to children.
7. Try to work as much out as possible before going to the lawyer.
8. No adultery. Nobody, including the Judge, likes it.
   
9. Women, if you are being abused or your children are abused, bring criminal charges first. Any allegations brought up during the divorce will be viewed as suspect.

Listen to the whole podcast for free lawyerly advice.

Industrial Society versus Service Society

Are we demasculinating society with off-shoring our manufacturing and other "manly" jobs and turning into a bunch of pansy-assed massage therapists? Well, first of all, I wouldn't mess with the massage therapists I know. They have thumb grips that can bring you to your knees.

Glenn Harlan Reynolds discusses this trend.

Michelle Malkin: It's the Jihad

Go to this post to face the enemy within. Optimistic Americans have short memories. These are the people who have been trying to kill us for being us. Keep scrolling down.

Abu Musab Al-Zarqaqi Dies in HIs Unsafe House

Woo hoo!

Is the enemy capable of being demoralized? Yes, it is. Of course this news will be weighed against the almost relentless anti-American worldwide rants that continue to embolden the bad guys. They could not possibly be thinking, "Hey if that Murtha guy has his way, we rule! Let's hold on a little longer."

What's everyone saying?

NRO here.

Dr. Sanity has a round-up here.

Instapundit hopes this is where he ends up. (Hint: He'll be keeping Mohammed Atta company.)

And this is just beginning. I'll give you a tease, "Zarqawi is not dead, don't believe the hype...." (And here's a hint, a conspiracy connected to poll numbers figures in.)

Michael Crook says, "So he's dead, don't be disrespectful." Uh, okay. I know, beheading is soooo respectful. At least Zarqawi didn't suffer, says Mike.

C-Sections by Choice

Another risky decision.

ACE Inhibitors Linked to Birth Defects

Another reason to be healthy and drug-free during pregnancy. If you have high blood pressure, pregnancy and the baby's health, too, is in danger. The medication is dangerous, too.

"This is Toronto Not Guantanamo"

That was the idiotic statement by one of the Terrorist's lawyers who lamented his lack of access to his "detained" client.

Read more about the Canadian 17--the terrorist cell who planned to behead members of parliament and blow up things--here and here and here.

Dixie Chicks Update: Ticket Sales Disappoint, Shows Cancelled

The Dixie Chicks will be "reconfiguring" their U.S. tour, but "Canada loves the Dixie Chicks." Sales of their album is doing well, however.

Blackberry Addiction

You know who you are out there. Blackberry need, desire, yes, even love fuels your very existence. Your self-esteem is wired into the circuitry of that four-inch square black hole of business hell. Obsessively checking emails, hoping, praying that someone, anyone has messaged you. The email means that you're significant. You matter. Your life on this little blue marble means something. When it vibrates.........when it vibrates.....bbbbrring............ohhhh, the ecstasy.

Intuition

Interesting post on intuition over at Psychology Today. Here's an excerpt:

This idea—that much of our everyday thinking, feeling and acting operates outside conscious awareness—is a difficult one to accept, report psychologists John Bargh, Ph.D., of New York University (NYU), and Tanya Chartrand, Ph.D., of Ohio State University. Our consciousness is biased to think that its own intentions and deliberate choices rule our lives. But consciousness overrates its own control.

I feel that my job with clients is to bring the unconscious or subconscious to the conscious mind. Once the frontal lobe is involved--executive functioning, interpretation, logic--some unhelpful beliefs, thoughts, feelings and behaviors can be changed.

Doesn't Anyone Have Good Manners Anymore?

The Anchoress asks this plaintive question while discussing Ann Coulter's Today Show rant about 9/11 surviving wives using their husbands death to legitimize a political position.

Ed Morrisey over at Captain's Quarters compares Coulter with Ted Rall.

Glenn Reynolds says:

My general strategy these days is to ignore Coulter (Ted Rall, too), and if everyone did that things would be better. But yes, this deserves to be condemned. Of course, she's managed to troll Hillary into condemning her, probably assuring a bestseller slot.

First of all, I am more interested in content than delivery. Is the message true? It might be given by someone whose politics seems suspect, who uses expletives when two-syllable words would do, who is inarticulate or immoderate, but that does not say anything about the veracity of the opinion. Is it true?

For example, I personally think it is impolite to use a loved-one's death to forward a political campaign. The act feels sleazy. What civilized person would criticize a woman who has lost her husband or child to a horrific death even if the same person is spewing utter garbage. Her content might stink, but her package has "absolute moral authority" so everyone else must use good manners.

My premature son died nine years ago. Does that insulate me from criticism if I use my son's death to claim to speak for all people who have lost a child and espouse some kind of inane policy--mandatory bedrest with full pay for all women pregnant with twins beginning the 18th week of pregnancy, say. Well, I have lost a child, I have been pregnant with twins, does that not give me authority to say that?

Sure, I'm welcome to my opinion, but if I use my child's death as a shield to deflect any and all rational discourse not only should my policy opinion be attacked but my unseemly use of my son's death, as well. Wouldn't using my son be, well, bad manners?

The principle: You draw more bees with honey is nice. In fact, I enjoy regularly reading The Anchoress. You'll notice that she is in my Blog Roll in the right-hand column. My Blog-Link list isn't long. I'm rather picky. She has a sweetness and thoughtfulness in her writing style. She is self-exploratory without seeming narcisstic. If her talent stopped at style and had no substance, I'd quit reading, though. Polite or not, truth matters.

My previous post listed Left-leaning blogs that simply attacked Ann, calling her names. Most weren't sanctimoniously demanding apologies--most felt Ann was beyond apologizing. She was a worthless, contemptible human being. Her views weren't even worthy of mentioning.

Ann enjoys arguing. Ann enjoys stirring it up. Ann knows how to put forth an inflamatory sound-bite. So do lots of people--few of them Republican or Conservative, in fact. Paul Begala and James Carville come to mind as very smart, sputtering, inflammatory Kings of soundbite. The only difference between them and Ann? Their content is rarely true. It is the untruth that makes me crazy. Their delivery is secondary.

Back to the content. Ann had the temerity to take some of the 9/11 Widows to task for using their husband's deaths as shield against criticism of their politics. I find their actions shameless and quite lacking in manners. When does the statute of limitations on "victim criticism" end? It has been five years. And while five years feels like a long time, we all know, having all experienced a tremendous loss (maybe not as directly) on 9/11, that it also feels like yesterday. But time is marching on and decisions are being made and taxpayer dollars are being doled out and weepy emotionalism tends to cloud vision.

So, while Ann may have not been polite and nicey-nice about it, she does have a point. Have we all become so squishy that hearing someone clearly articulate a view using sarcasm and a cutting tone that we lose the message?

Update: Ha! I suppose this will negate my chances of being Blog Rolled on The Anchoress's or Captain's Quarter's or Instapundit's blog, huh? It's a shame, too, 'cuz I really, really like them and I would like more traffic. Maybe if I were nicer........

Ann Coulter Responds to Matt Lauer's Vapid Verbalizing

The Left's Blogospheric and MSM reactions aims directly at her arguments. NOT!:


Kathy Griffen calls her "Nutjob".

Unreason says, "Still a Bitch, Just Crazier"

Kelli at MySpace says, "Ann Coulter, Suck This" and continues her diatribe saying that Ann is a "total fxxking cxxt".

The Left Coaster calls her "Satan's Chambermaid" which I think is funny, and goes on to call her "a vile human being."


While many reasonable people disagree with Ann Coulter's arguments and the goading way she puts them forth (the word polemic is oft used, hmmmm......), they rarely attack the substance and simply attack her. It's easy. It's fun. It is intellectually undemanding and yet nets intellectually vain points with others who think in the exact same way. Very courageous, that.

By the way, this list could go on and on and on and on. Just look up Ann Coulter in Technorati and see for yourself. Some like Glenn Reynolds believes that Coulter's rants do harm to the Right's appeal to average Americans--kinda like the role Michael Moore plays for the Left. I don't know. Sometimes the extremes of the debate clarify the debate.

At any rate, it seems hypocritical to blast people who believe differently and use Hate Speech if I ever saw it. Rather self-condemning, in my opinion.

Road Rage is Really IED

See, I told you. No one is throwing a temper tantrum anymore:

"People think it's bad behavior and that you just need an attitude adjustment, but what they don't know ... is that there's a biology and cognitive science to this," said Dr. Emil Coccaro, chairman of psychiatry at the University of Chicago's medical school.

Road rage, temper outbursts that involve throwing or breaking objects and even spousal abuse can sometimes be attributed to the disorder, though not everyone who does those things is afflicted.

Here was my post yesterday on this new "phenomenon." A new disease has bloomed before our very eyes!

Islamic Terrorists: To Canada With Love

Even our socialist, pacifist, better-than-stupid-Americans neighbors (via Varifrank) up North seem to be targets of the "peaceful" Islamists. Why would that be? The Canadians mounted firmly on their high horses have done absolutely nothing (unlike America) to provoke would-be jihadists. Canadians abhor "illegal and colonial" efforts by super powers and yet, Canada like France, like Denmark, like Britain (they deserved it though, for being so damn Yankee friendly), like Spain, like Shiite MUSLIM children going to school in Bagdad seem to be targets anyway.

Here is a current Canadian Editorial at the Hamilton Spectator:

That doesn't mean advocating assimilation and the resulting loss of the cultural difference which we have so long celebrated. It does mean working to avoid the isolation in which some communities place themselves, an isolation that is neither healthy nor encouraging of understanding.

One of the biggest challenges now is for Canadians to avoid falling into a self-defeating trap of cultural shunning and discrimination. To have anger become racial animosity would be a huge loss for all of us.

What the? Yup, desiring assimilation equals "racial animosity". Wouldn't want someone to lose their barbaric, stupid "cultural difference" like the burqua-wearing spouses of these home grown terrorists. It would be culturally insensitive to force these brutal, hate-mongering, misogynist thugs to let go of their medieval ways.

Is it any wonder the Islamists think the West is filled with a bunch of sitting-duck dupes?

Link via Instapundit

N.O. 9 Months Later: A Link to Photos

Go see these. Those of us who saw the results of other floods/tropical storms/hurricanes know the reality. It is devastation beyond comprehension.

H/T Instapundit