Women & I-Pods

This news from the BBC via Drudge explores the on-line music phenomenon that women, surprisingly, are leading. I'm not all that surprised. Here's why:

1. Ordering songs I like, versus being stuck with lots of annoying songs, is more frugal. If the musicians think that they are losing money because of down-loading they are wrong. For example: I would never buy a Britney Spears album. Just. Wouldn't. But I have downloaded one song for fun.
2. My taste is broad and downloading allows me to go in all the different directions. I have Amazing Grace by Elvis, Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon and Garfunkel, Isn't She Lovely by Stevie Wonder and Can't Touch This by M.C. Hammer (this song I downloaded for one line that makes me laugh every time I hear it "mine, mine, mine, mine!" It gets me laughing--what a bargain at 99 cents). I have downloaded every Aria I can find by Renee Fleming.
3. I can experiment with an artist's work and not feel stupid for making a $20 wrong investment. I love Kate Bush's song Woman's Work, for example, but didn't have the chance to listen to her other stuff. Now I have. I can pick and choose.
4. One Hit Wonders from yesteryear bubble to the surface on oldies stations and I can go after them. Roy Orbison (not a one hit wonder, by any shot), Fiona Apple, Stray Cats, etc. This is fun.
5. Variety. Playing albums one song after another might sooth a boy's broken heart, but for this girl, I like variety. I love Coldplay--almost every single song--and when one of their songs pops up in my mix it's like finding a chocolate covered strawberry at the end of every delicious course. Good to better.
6. Social. How has the I-Pod made music social? Well, friends say, "Listen to this song! You'll love it!" like my friend Michael did the other day and you know what? I liked most, but not all, of the artist's album. I'll go buy the three songs I like on I-tunes. Also, when I hear those songs, that I hadn't known of before, I'll think of him. When I think of the Eagles another friend comes to mind. Same with Van Halen. Ditto Bruce Springsteen.
   
7. It's psychological. When you hear another person's music selections, you learn A LOT about them. I feel privilaged to share someone's music. It's personal. It's revealing. It's trusting. In one of my home magazines, a hostess spoke of having an I-Pod docking station so friends could bring their mixes over and everyone could listen. One day, when I get a docking station, I hope to do the same thing. What a fun ice-breaker! When we were playing cards the other night, friends said (I have my tunes backed up on CDs and had them playing on the mini-stereo), "No you do NOT have Brittney Spears on your I-Pod." Yes I do. A little bit. (Very little. One song.) Perhaps they think that I'm normally a tight-arse and that revealed me to be a little more fun-loving than they thought. Or perhaps they thought I was rational and this choice reveals me as crazy. Or perhaps they thought with my music background that such immature musack revealed a disturbing lack of music appreciation. Whatever. It was fun to see the shock on their faces when they heard her over-synthesized, breathy crooning.

Can you see why the I-Pod suits women? Men love them too. It is a gadget after all. But I suspect that most of them like them for different reasons. Or not. Any ideas?

Mom Angst

For a wrap-up of mom feelings hit Post Secret this week. It is a doozy!

Denial or Resilience?

We all have baggage. Some of us could fill Melania Trump's closet with our baggage. I am one such person.

I know people who have spent years "on the couch" and seem no better off for all their navel gazing. I know others who have lived such unconscious lives it's like they hit autopilot around age five and have been floating ever since. Somewhere, there must be a balance, but where?

No stranger to the helping professions, being part of a helping profession, I'm still wary of the helping profession. I'm wary of myself or any other doctor "guruized". My goal as a doctor, personal/professional coach or in whatever capactiy I'm helping someone, is to help them start listening to their higher self--the God-given part of them that leads to peace and happiness and optimal functioning.

I don't like to be a crutch--a drug someone uses to prolong their dysfunction. I want to be a catalyst and then let them, in their rediscovered enlightenment, figure it out. It is their life afterall.

It is a fine balance, knowing when enough reflection, enough intervention, enough therapy, is enough. It is sometimes difficult to know when a problem rises to the level of requiring intervention. Or, do you even need a problem to seek help? Could you just want to have a better, more productive life?

Does charging forward with life mean you're in denial? Or does charging forward with life indicate resilience?

I believe it is possible to seek therapy and stay in denial. I believe it is possible to seek therapy and be resilient. I believe therapy can help a person develop resilience. I believe it is possible to avoid therapy to stay in denial. I believe it is possible to avoid therapy because the person is resilient.

So, are people these days over-helped or not helped enough?

Hormone Replacement Therapy: A Natural Solution

So many women suffer hormone fluxuations. They are often medicated with the following:

• Antidepressants for ... depression
• Antipsychotics or anticonvulsives for severe rages
• Pain medication for random aches and pains
• Speed-like drugs for attention deficit
• Clomid so they can ovulate
• All kinds of stuff for Fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue

Bottom line? Doctors and patients chase symptoms never considering that the underlying problem.

If a doctor does suspect a functional problem he or she will do bloodwork. This method of ascertaining a woman's hormonal health is inadequate and misleading resulting in misdiagnosis or recommendations to go see a Psychiatrist. These either harm or insult (or both) the patient.

Good methods of testing exist. Excellent treatment methods exist. Read more here about why we use salivary testing for reproductive hormones. We do use blood tests for other things like allergy testing--so it's not that we are opposed to blood testing in particular. We just want to use the most accurate methods.

Are you experiencing any of these symptoms? Do you know a woman experiencing these problems? Ok, who doesn't?

• Hot flashes
• Night sweats
• Vaginal Dryness
• Weight gain
• Tender breasts
• Fibrocystic breasts
• Mood swings
• Irritability
• Insomnia
• Memory Loss

• Dry skin
• Irregular periods
• Heavy bleeding
• PMS
• Fatigue
• Depression
• Low thyroid symptoms
• Low libido
• Water retention/bloating
• Cravings for sugar and refined carbohydrates

Without getting into the environmental, nutritional and other causes of hormonal imbalance, it is important to know that it can be helped.

With nutritional changes--adding certain fatty acids to the diet that are hormonal precursers and reducing sugars in the diet to name two--and natural supplementation, a woman can feel like herself again. Most women wonder how in the world they (and their loved ones) survived. So many women are ashamed of the way they feel. So many families had high hopes for psychotropic medications, which helped for a while at least, but ultimately failed. There are other alternatives.

If you want to learn more, go to www.drclouthier.com. You can also call the office at 281-419-9104 to register to hear Dr. Clouthier speak about many health alternatives--not just natural hormone supplementation.

Ayaan Hirsi Ali

Do you know her name? You should. She is from Holland. She exposed Islam's not-so-hidden mistreatment of women. Read more here.


Read Claire Berlinski's Book, Menace in Europe to read why Holland's treatment of this woman is so disturbing.

Lite Blogging

My mom's alarmed that I haven't posted since last Thursday. My husband is delighted. My brother is in a lather over my perspective about the tracking phone calls thing. You can't please all the people all the time, can you?

Yes well, the good Prez will be talking tonight about bringing the National Guard to the border and what not. Pardon me for snickering, but this sounds like an idea whose polls have come. To say that a large swath of the population is disgusted with the nation's (OBTW elected) leadership is to understate the revulsion.

This idea proves, once again, to me that Bush is not serious about securing the border. He is serious about making a big show of it and trying to pacify the masses, though. I'm not pacified.

1. Reminder, people are NOT against legal immigration. They are against ILlegal immigration.
2. Build a fence.
3. Make it electrical and dug deep into the ground. Good fences make good neighbors.
4. Hold Big Business's feet to the fire. You realize, though, that consumer goods will get more expensive should illegals dwindle. Groceries, hospital bills, motel rooms, etc. will cost more because wages will increase.
5. Make the process easier for people to immigrate and then get them assimilated.

NSA: Not-So-Secret Listening

Michelle Malkin has a round-up of the NSA wiretapping leak, again, and interestingly timed, again, around the next CIA chief's appointment.I don't like the idea of the government listening in on my conversations. Do you? Nope. You don't either.

I like the idea of some wack-job terrorist blowing up the Empire State Building or the LA Airport or even Michael Moore's spread in Flint, Michigan (I don't know where he lives, by the way, I'm taking artistic license) even less.

Intercepting communication has always been part of effective warfare. And we ARE at war. He who controls the most accurate information often has the upper hand and definitely a distinct advantage over the opponent sitting in the information dark.

In times past, information was spread through couriers, the mail system, and phone wires. There were less operatives and less access to high-tech communcations. When the local operator had to patch everyone through, and people shared phone lines, secrecy was almost non-existant.

Times have changed. Disposable phones, satellite phones, picking your phone number from anywhere, ease of travel and moving here and there, internet encryption, etc. make it far easier for bad guys to stay in business and more difficult for warriors to intercept information.

Computer technology designed to pick up patterns, to evaluate abstract data and extrapolate meaning helps the good guys comb through the abyss. When patterns emerge that get reinforced over and over, a live person may begin following the data. Who cares who the person is at this point? When the data points in a disturbing direction, that person is checked. (I'm guessing. But this is what I would do.) After that, maybe there are a couple piles on the operative's desk: no threat, mild threat, moderate threat, definite psycho and we need to wire-tap him. That has happened around 1000 times in the last year. Aren't you surprised it didn't happen more?

If you're prone to conspiracy theory, you're thinking, "That's what they'd like for you to believe." The government is watching me, right now, as I sit here looking at...... Ack! I don't want anyone to find out how big a scumbag I really am!

If you're prone to paranoia, you're thinking that you've been a target of Big Brother for quite a long time. Maybe it's just your conscious or God watching you, dirt bag. But I digress.

Anyway, no one likes to think that the government has the power to peer into our pathetic little lives, but they do. Exhibit A: The IRS routinely audits doctors to the tune of 1 in 10/year get audited. For all the not-doctors out there the stat is like 1 in 100 to 1/10,000 depending on your income level. This is hardly fair. Are doctors more criminal than other Americans? I wouldn't think so, but there is that little thing of income bracket... The IRS licks its sloppy chops. If the government can extract 10% more out of someone who makes more, why go after someone else's crumbs?

I'm guessing the NSA similarly discriminates while looking for information. Unfair? Maybe. Logical? Definitely. Moral during a war? Absolutely.

How else do you foil potential plots? Are some of us still naive enough to believe there are no other plots? Has five years lulled us into complacent fatness?

While the terrorists are definitely on the run, there are still terrorists. Heaven forbid, the government acts towards these potential mass murderers the way law enforcement treats potential crime. Try going to the police, like my girlfriend did, after being followed for miles by a deranged guy intent on doing harm. She got his license plate, eventually lost him, but he followed her into a parking lot, waited for her, and she got lucky. "Sorry ma'am, but if no crime is committed, there's really nothing we can do."

"Sorry, America, but there is really nothing we can do until a terrorist acts. We can't arrest someone on conjecture."

While I cherish my civil liberties, I consider my life to be chief among them. Should a terrorist plot come to fruition and the information that Quest didn't share with the government could have helped prevent death and destruction and economic ruin and terror on American soil, will people say, "At least I have my civil liberties"? Some will. Hopefully they aren't the ones running the government right now.

I think that there are some people who don't believe we are at war at all. And this is a different war. It is insidious. It will go on for a long time.

Some Americans fear that with no end in sight, civil liberties will vanish as time marches on. That is a legitimate fear. A representative democracy must be ever-vigilant. But for the time being, an NSA "listening" program seems not only part of a well-fought war but vital to our nations security.

Love the Palestinians, Hate Hamas

The Palestinians are on the receiving end of U.S. Taxpayer money. The Christian Science Monitor and other intellectually superior people would like to make the distinction between Hamas and the plight of the poor, poor people.

Hamas enjoyed over 70% of the popular vote in the lection. That's pretty durn good. That would be considered a Mandate by most people living in representative democracies, no? It would be fair to say that Hamas equals the Palestinians and the Palestinians equal Hamas.

Let's just say that America decided to elect David Duke, former Clansman extraordinare as President. Imagine for a moment that lots of guys in pointy white hats got elected into Congress on the Good Dukes robes tails. Let's say that all these people got elected by over 70% of the population. Their platform was as follows: fix the economy and incinerate our neighbors to the north and south. Bomb Canada into oblivian. Canadians are morally repugnant, French-loving socialists and must be expunged from the universe, because that's what God wills it. Hmmmm..... Could the rest of the world rightly say that America is inhabited by a bunch of insane, uncivilized zealots?

Yes, they could.

Would the rest of the world say, "Oh, Mr. Duke doesn't really represent what the people REALLY want. They are just suffering and had no other choice."

Um, no.

Would the world looking at our economic chaos fund racist, country-hating crazies?

It is impossible to separate the Palestinians from Hamas. They elected, resoundingly, Hamas. They ARE Hamas. A small minority are "moderate" and that is moderate in the Middle Ages sense, not the 21st century sense.

How, exactly will governments get money to the people and out of the hands of Hamas? That's right, they won't. And everyone knows this.

Suicide Bombers courtesy our tax dollars.

Why America Doesn't Suck Right Now

Since I've been a self-described malcontent and general snagglepuss lately regarding a myriad things--illegal immigration has my panties in a bundle at the moment--I thought maybe I should balance my views now.

America doesn't suck because:

1. I can say America sucks and not be thrown into the gulag.
2. The economy is rockin' and rollin' thanks to Bush.
3. If Bush has his way, tax cuts will be made permanent.
4. We haven't suffered a terrorist attack for almost five years now. Who would have thought?
5. People still want to come to America because she's still the best country on earth.
6. The Supreme Court is getting more constructionist...hopefully.
7. Congress can be a bunch of morons and the country still functions.
8. People are free to pursue their dreams.
9. The Internet started here. It is still free. It is still mind-blowing.
10. There are brave men and women willing to fight and defend our freedom--choosing to, no draft, no mandated training.

My recent rantings could frame me as an ungrateful wench. Which, during my worst moments, I can be. But I just wanted to say that I still love my country.

Which is why WE NEED TO BUILD A FENCE NOW! (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)

Evolution of Dance

This link is for people of a certain age....okay mid-to-late 30s who remember, and better yet, perform each of these dance moves.

Since I can't figure out how to make the You Tube link myself, go visit my fellow Texan at VastRightWingConspiracy to have a good laugh.

A Mother's Worth

Over at Salary.com, an article about a Stay-at-Home-Mom's pay receives scorn from Fox News commentator and editor at iFeminists.com Wendy McElroy. She fumes:

But the main offense is that Salary.com doesn't 'get it.' Women who stay home are lucky enough to be able to choose personal benefits over economic ones; stay at home mothers have refused to value their time in dollar signs. When Salary.com refers to sitting up with a sick child as 'over time', it commercializes and cheapens that act of love for both stay at home and working moms.

It is similar to placing a dollar value on intimate marital relations because, after all, those 'services' are available elsewhere for a fee.

When you define the value of family meals in terms of cold cash, then you've lost the importance of what's really going on. When you convert acts of love into acts for profit, you've lost at life itself.

Well, Wendy, I agree with you....to a point. It is impossible to quantify a mother who loves her child, who is in tune with that child's needs, who puts that child's desires above making money.

But there are mothers who would like to quantify their duties for a couple reasons:

1. They used to work outside the home and like to feel that they "contribute" to the home in more than intangibles.
2. Their spouse comes home and asks (or, the smarter among them looks around skeptically but keeps his yapper shut), "What have you been doing all day?" They would like to receive renumeration for the thankless task.
3. They don't have a boss breathing down their neck (well, that's if you don't count the six month old throwing up down your neck or the three year old staring at you expectantly for a book to read), but they also don't have any positive reinforcement, or pay raises, or kudos, or attaboys--I mean girls, either.
4. It can feel like a long, hard fall from wearing power suits to wearing shorts and T-shirts with juice stains.
5. The work never ends. It is 11 p.m. It's 3 a.m. It's teething time. Tough nuts, Mom! Get your sorry butt outta bed NOW!

For goal-oriented, task-finishing, ladies, staying at home can be soul-satisfying and mind-bending at the same time. There was a time when women never worked outside the home and would sympathize with their poor, over-worked, mopey husband about his arduous day. Now, stay-at-home moms KNOW that their husband at least got to eat lunch with people who have conversations about something other than Barney. And, on his most suck-bag day, he at least got monitary renumeration for his efforts. A mom's worst day is usually followed by a worst night, too.

Of course, it is impossible to quantify motherhood. Good mothers, like any other professionals, are priceless. Bad ones, well, they cause more problems long-term than just about any doofus in the workplace.

But let's assume, for a moment, to try to quantify an average mom's "contribution".

I'm average. I'm a mom. I work part-time around my kid's schedule. If, instead of staying home, my choice was to work full-time as a Doctor....hmmmm. That's a big chunk of salary lost.

Nevermind that for a moment. At home, to have my son Nanny'd per week would be at least $300. That's $1200/month. Minimum. I could put him in Daycare for around $150/week, but that's not really apples to apples because right now he gets one-on-one, 24/7, around the clock care.

Now, for apples to apples comparison, I'd have to hire someone with a commisurate education. That would be a Doctorate level with at least 145 I.Q. (I won't tell you my I.Q.--145 is the average I.Q. of holders of a Master's Degree in Business.) I'm guessing that a really smart childcare worker charges a lot more. What do you think? I know that play therapists charge anywhere from $60 to $100/hour and that's going to their facility--not coming to your home.

And then there is the whole clean up thing. I'm forever picking up dishes, loading the dishwasher, and rinsing stuff. The dishwasher is loaded and unloaded at least once a day. My husband helps with unloading sometimes, so I'd have to subtract that effort a couple times/week.

Don't even get me started on laundry. The third kid put us over the edge. I used to have a "laundry day". Ha! Laundry goes non-stop now. Wash-dry-fold. Wait, pick up-wash-dry-fold-put away. It's insane. Those little goobers go through clothes like crazy! There is the wet beds every once in a while, too.

Add to this general pick up and throw away duties. You know when I'm totally tapped out here because there is detrious everywhere in the house. The kids teachers kill more trees sending home paperwork and that paperwork ends up here and there and everywhere. Oy vey. And shoes! Here a shoe, there a shoe, everywhere a shoe! Shoe!

How do you value that? I spend at least two hours a day putting shit away. The days I don't, man the next day is just killer.

This, of course, doesn't include actually cleaning the house, stripping the beds, doing the floors. To have someone come in once/week is about $90. A daily person would charge significantly more. A friend who has seven kids has a live-in who does laundry, pick up and clean up--no cooking, no childcare. She gets like $400/week.

Add cooking. I'm a good cook. I just don't cook. This causes consternation on the part of my husband. The reasons are multifold: 1) I'm lazy 2) He's never home for dinner 3)Kid food is not adult food and since the DH isn't home, I don't like cooking something just for me. I know. I know. I should be a tougher broad and cook and make my kids choke it down like my mother did to me. I should, but I don't. So they get Tuna and Mac and Cheese and Cheese and Yogurt and Fruit and Carrots (all organic except the tuna) and Fast Food (Tuesdays and Thursdays when we get home at nearly 7 p.m. from activities). So I shouldn't get paid so much for cooking.

Grocery shopping--that I do. How much would a personal shopper cost? A lot.

Driver. A personal driver would be divine. A couple days per week I spend three, almost four, hours driving hither and thither taking the kids to their activities. CEO's and other top executives get drivers. Why not children? Oh right, they already do.

Nursing a child. For organic formula (which is what I would buy if I wasn't nursing) the cost would be upward of $200/month just to feed the kid. For the first eight months, I exclusively breast feed (one year for the first one). That's a couple thousand dollars, right there. Then, I nurse the kids until between 18 and 24 months. That keeps me landlocked. Nursing takes between two and six hours/day (six at the beginning and dwindling down). Only I can do it. Actually renting a wetnurse is just not a viable thing in America anymore--at least not that I'm aware of anyway.

Okay, now here we enter some intangible territory. My husband, also a doctor, owns a business. He comes home and we discuss difficult cases. (Consultation fee right there.) I hire and fire for the office. Purchasing (most of it), marketing (most of it), procedures (most of it), etc. are taken care of by me. When bad things happen, I go to the office and try to fix it. Office meetings sometimes, not always, include me. I'm not paid for this contribution. It could, very easily, be valued.

Conversely, my husband does things at home that his dad or other dad's of that generation rarely did: he helps get the kids dressed in the morning and makes their lunches. He helps them with their breakfast. He does not clean up. (Just thought I'd mention that as an aside.) Since he is home after bedtime three school nights/week, the morning interaction helps connect them.

He helps with laundry. He takes out the trash (about 95% of the time). He unloads the dishwasher. He helps put the kids to bed. He helps give baths at least once a week. He watches the kids one afternoon a week so I can see clients.

Bottom line, I'm not a mother in the purely June Cleaver sense. And my husband isn't a father in the purely Ward Cleaver sense.

More intangibles: A driver wouldn't stay and watch the kids activities, encouraging them. Someone else doing the cooking and cleaning is another presence in our lives--someone not a mom. In some families, that can be a benefit because the mom "ain't the motherin' type" as Ms. St. Germain says in the musical Annie.

I'll concede that there are areas where someone else would be way better than me and deserves more pay. I don't iron. Period. There are housekeepers who put me to shame. Not enough German in my blood--too much aristocratic Scot. I'm descended from Royal lineage and find servants appealing. The American in me doesn't cotton to the personal space invasion, though. I hate double binds.

Add it all up, I venture my yearly wage should be north of $100,000. Closer to Three Million some days... Perhaps, I exaggerate my worth just a little bit.

Okay. Wendy's right. You can't quantify motherhood. You just can't. A mother is worth more than money. Love isn't a commodity. Time--the moments captured in memory--transcends finances. You can earn money back. Time is gone and only memories remain. What is a memory worth? What is that child's memories worth?

I think there is a desire to quantify motherhood because women and men want, subconsciously, to minimize a mothers contribution. With so many women in the workforce, away from their babies and children, acknowledging that motherhood is pricess and matters and matters more than money and prestige can suck some of the joy out of the Day Job. Not that motherhood and career are mutually exclusive. They aren't. But there are trade-offs. The least important one, in my opinion, is compensation.

Minutemen: Administration Bloviating

Michelle Malkin has more updates about the OUTRAGEOUS actions by our stupid government.

Build a fence.

Build a fence.

Build a fence.

Thankfully, the Minutemen are starting one.

I heard guys on Talk Radio this morning say that the person who okayed the government's action should be tried for Treason. Um, that person is the President, people. For some assinine reason, he thinks that Amnesty is good for our country. He seems to desire porous borders.

My only question is: Does Vicente Fox have Dirt on W that is that bad? Or, worse, is W really a Utopian? And given the loving, hugging, familial togetherness of the Clintons and Bushes, I honestly wonder if he's hoping to continue his great work through Hillary.

My head hurts.

Infant Mortality: The Stick Socialists Use to Bash the U.S.

The U.S. ranks low in Infant Mortality. The stats have always seemed suspect to me considering places like Cuba (look at these pictures here to get an idea of their "advanced" system) and Russia (the adopted children I see from this country almost all have physical/emotional problems--the good health care system is to thank for that, no doubt) came out better. However, the standards of care in the U.S. while technologically advanced, seem counter-productive to the natural act of birthing. They often cause interventions and therefore, side effects, that harm the mother and baby.

That said, a good analysis of the stats here and some more thoughts here.

It's interesting that the U.S. ranks #1 in birthrate for Western countries. What will the Socialist countries do with no one to pay taxes to keep the old people cared for in the mediocre way they've become accustomed to?

Busy With A Purpose

Some people ride the stationary bike of life--they think they're going somewhere because their legs are moving. It is easy to go, go, go and get absolutely nothing of value done. Some say that my blog demonstrates this very concept. But I digress.

Today, think about all the stuff you do, just to do. Is it necessary? Today do what you need to and want to and not one extra, superfluous thing, non-vital thing.

If everything feels vital, you're taking your life waaaaaay too seriously. Try again.

Iraq: Focus on Baghdad Peace

For those discouraged by the new of Iraq, the mess, go to Iraq the Model. This post discusses the importance of bringing peace to Baghdad and focusing troops there. His words might not counter your defeatism, but he does have some interesting thoughts.

It seems to me that the might of the military is somewhat watered down by putting out the fires around the whole country. OTH, Baghdad is difficult in a way that some of the other communities are not. Some of the other communities are safer, rebuilding and unfriendly to terrorists and would be sitting ducks for nasty killers looking to finda comfortable home once Baghdad isn't hospitable.

There are no short-term, quick-fix answers, save huge amounts of manpower, that the Iraqis themselves must provide. The common Iraqi must desire freedom enough to fight it and be willing to put down those siding with the terrorists or old regime. It takes will of the masses.

It remains to be seen if that will happen.