Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Women. Show all posts

Friday, July 04, 2008

Man Woman Gives Birth, America Is Definitely Home of the Free


He is not a he, he is a she with boobs lopped off and testosterone that would increase the size of the clitoris and make it look more penis-like. Let's be real here. A man cannot carry a baby. She was not born with ambiguous genitalia. This "dude" is not a dude. She is a dudette. She is a mother. She gave birth through her vagina. That's right "he" gave birth naturally.

He is a she. I am sick of the politically correct nonsense around this woman. Just because someone has surgery and names herself a man, doesn't make it so. Might make her delusional. And it makes the news media look more insane than average, too,"The new dad walked easily, although he appeared tired, .... Someone opened the door for him." Oh, and can you imagine how this kid is going to feel about "dad". This is just nuts. (Couldn't resist.)

She is free to call herself whatever she wants. This is America. And so I am free to call her a she and so I will.

Cross-posted at Right Wing News

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

There's A Dude In There I Just Know It

Iran's president says he has a wife. I say Prove it!

H/T Instapundit who is not married to a man

Monday, June 30, 2008

When A Woman Rapes A Man...

Dr. Helen has a must-read piece about female aggression and rape. I'm reminded of a friend's story of how he lost his virginity at the hands of a babysitter when he was 12 or 13. He was clearly distressed on the one hand but socialized to believe he should be okay with it, on the other. To me, it was clear that the woman had used her position of authority to abuse him. Even the other men at the table shifted uncomfortably upon hearing the story. Every twelve year old boy fantasizes about these things happening, but the consequences when it actually does can be devastating.

This part of the man's letter is especially horrifying:

After most of my drunken stupor wore off around 7 am or so, I awoke again to find her on top of me — this time with a more menacing attitude as she knew I was in a better position to respond physically this time. I had began to wiggle out from under her (taking care not to hurt her baby) when she sternly warned me to “be quiet” and “not be forceful” and made it clear that she would cry rape if I tried to stop it. I was stunned to say the least and not sure how to respond. I could easily have thrown her across the room and off of me, but was concerned for her child and took her threat very, very seriously. She said it so easily that I doubt I was her first.

I weighed my options for a moment and came to the conclusion that a sober, 6 or 7-month pregnant college student of 24 was far more likely to be believed by the authorities than a drunk 19-year old Marine in the best shape of his life. I frequented that club a lot and I’m sure several people saw me leave with her. I was pretty much fucked — in more than one way — at that point.
Rape is about power first, and sex, second. This is rape.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Time For The Annual Pedicure


So I'm wondering what the tip should be considering my feet and toe nails haven't had TLC for over a year. It's almost impossible to be too generous, isn't it? The dastardly deed happens tonight. And I'm wondering about color choices, too. So indecisive. Actually, so really don't care, but I know since I'm a girl, I should care about the color, but I really don't so I end up with the same old red.

We won't even discuss the hair. That's a problem for another day.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Thong-Induced Injuries Deserves Class Action Status

Some things are inevitable, you just wonder why it took so long:

As she was attempting to put on a Victoria's Secret thong, a Los Angeles woman claims that a decorative metallic piece flew off the garment and struck her in the eye, causing injuries and a new product liability lawsuit against the underwear giant. Macrida Patterson, 52, alleges that she was hurt last May by a defective "low-rise v-string" from the Victoria's Secret "Sexy Little Thing" line, according to a lawsuit filed last week in Los Angeles Superior Court. A copy of her June 9 complaint, which does not specify monetary damages, can be found below. Patterson's lawyer, Jason Buccat, told TSG that a "design problem" caused the decorative piece to come loose and strike Patterson in the eye, causing damage to her cornea. He added that the eye injury, which caused Patterson to miss a few days of work, will be "affecting her the rest of her life."
Most women I know have been injured by thongs. Besides the physical damage, there's the humiliation of knowing that she's willfully put a clothing garment in her butt crack ostensibly to avoid a lesser disaster: the dreaded panty lines. Men wouldn't wear a bra. Men wouldn't wear high heels. Men wouldn't wear panty hose. And men certainly wouldn't wear thongs. It's a conspiracy to create a perpetual state of discomfort and misery in the fairer sex.

This lawsuit deserves a lot more attention. Women of the world unite! Bring Victoria's Secret down for being the purveyors of a clothing product that has complete disregard for human health and dignity.


Cross-posted at Right Wing News

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Right Wing Sparkle Ain't Like Most Girls

Neither am I, Sparkle. Holy crap! I'm so not like most women, I think I might be a ...... oh, never mind.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Hymen Re-Creation: An Act of Liberation or Oppression?

So, you're a Western girl, which is to say, that you're one of the 90% of girls who isn't a virgin when they get married. Only problem is that you're going to the altar with Mohammed, who lost his virginity a few years back too, but against all logic, wants to have one of the 10% of Western Muslim girls who is still a virgin (that number is probably higher, this is for the sake of argument). He wants proof. He wants blood. And the courts in France, when he doesn't get what he wants on the wedding night, he gets an annulment and the court gives it to him:

The furor followed the revelation two weeks ago that a court in the northern city of Lille had annulled the 2006 marriage of two French Muslims after the groom discovered his bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be.

The domestic saga has gripped the nation. The bridegroom, an unidentified engineer in his 30s, left the nuptial bed and announced to the still-partying wedding guests that his bride had lied about her past. She was delivered that night to her parents' doorstep.

The next day, he asked a lawyer to annul the marriage. The bride, then a nursing student in her 20s, confessed the truth to the court and agreed to an annulment.

In its ruling, there was no mention of religion. Rather, it cited breach of contract, concluding that he had married her after "she was presented to him as single and chaste."

No mention of religion, but it's all about religion: specifically the misogyny and lower-class status of women in the Muslim religion. Her only value is sexual and as a uterus willing to produce fruit from an unsullied garden. And of course, should the woman be involved with a more strident believer, her very life is at stake:

Surgeons who perform the procedure said they were empowering their patients by giving them a viable future and preventing them from being abused - or even killed - by their fathers or brothers.

"Who am I to judge?" asked Marc Abecassis, the plastic surgeon who restored the Montpellier student's hymen. "I have colleagues in the United States whose patients do this as a Valentine's present to their husbands. What I do is different. This is not for amusement. My patients don't have a choice if they want to find serenity - and husbands."

A specialist in what he calls "intimate" surgery, including penile enhancement, Abecassis says he performs two to four hymen restorations a week.

So, Muslim women cannot stand for themselves and secular, French law won't stand for them either.

It is politically incorrect to say that the practitioners of Islam are close-minded, double-standard wielding throw-backs. This, to me, is not about extolling the benefits of virginity, which, I fully support. This is about parity and freedom and equality for all people no matter their gender.

This case highlights the fact that the European Muslims don't assimilate. They don't participate fully in the culture (and in France, there are many reasons for this). They are like welfare sucking, violent Amish except they inhabit the cities. The backwardness is extreme even by Amish standards and yet Western elites in this century can, with a straight face, speak of liberating women by recreating hymens.

The whole of Western culture is being oppressed to satisfy a Muslim man's insecurity. I call bullshit.

H/T Rorschach

Cross-posted at Right Wing News

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

A Birthday Gift To Remember

So after years of a sexless marriage, a wife provided a novel solution, and later, wrote about it:

Charla apparently had no intention of writing about “the gift,” as she euphemistically refers to it. She was simply a homemaker and marketing consultant, who in 2006 wanted to give her husband a special 40th birthday present.

“This is something no one else would give him,” she said in an interview. “It didn’t cost a lot of money. It was highly memorable. It met all the criteria for a really great gift.”

Brad was less than fully enthusiastic, mostly because, he says, his wife often has big ideas and poor follow-through. After all, she hadn’t been especially generous in that department since they’d had their two children. He paid closer attention when he realized that she was serious.

The gift was sex every day for a year. Another couple made a pledge to do it for 101 days straight.

The couples did "hit the wall" at some point. And when it was over, did they continue their marathon ways? Not exactly:
Today, the Browns report they have sex approximately six times a month, or double their frequency before their adventure. The Mullers decline to discuss their habits, except to say that they fall well within the national average. And, Brad said, the sex is better. “It made it much easier to be open to the idea, more spontaneous,” he said, “So you don’t go back to that always gaming for it and always trying to get out of it.”
Married couples know that sexual needs don't always get met, but it seems that it's also possible to have too much of a good thing. So that makes me wonder, what is the "ideal" for the average coupled person?

The ideal rate of conjugal relations is:
Every day
Five times a week
Three times a week
Twice a week
Once a week
Once every other week
Once a month
Quarterly
Annually
pollcode.com free polls


Wednesday, June 04, 2008

The Abortion Business: I Want The Choice To Not Be An Investor

Abortion is a business. It is a big business. Huge. Michelle Malkin reports:

In April, the annual report of Planned Parenthood Federation of America revealed that the abortion giant had a total income of $1.02 billion—with reported profits of nearly $115 million. Taxpayers kick in more than $336 million worth of government grants and contracts at both the state and federal levels. That’s a third of Planned Parenthood’s budget.

And what market-distorting results do we get for those government incentives? 289,650 abortions in 2006.
This industry trades on other's misfortune and stupidity. The industry also violates the medical principle of "first, do no harm". Harming one living organism for the convenience of another strikes some as morally wrong, but the fact is, abortion is legal. Legal doesn't mean right.

Still, what's really galling is that people who believe it is morally wrong are forced to support the procedures. Where is my choice as a tax payer? Since feminists are all about choice, I'd like to exercise mine and not have my money subsidize what I consider a repugnant medical procedure.

If another doctor wants to sell killing and make money at it, so long as it's legal, that's his choice. As long as a consumer wants to buy the killing to escape her irresponsibility and it's legal, that's her choice. I want to exert my choice as a taxpayer and not be forced to support their disgusting commerce.

Cross-posted at Right Wing News

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Women and Farting

Over at FoxNews there's a very funny article titled "15 Reasons Why She's Not In The Mood". Here's #2:

She's feels gassy.

That's right. Women toot too. And whether she sounds like a trumpet or is being held hostage by a battle of bad gas, she's feeling like a walking fart pillow. Even when she wants your touch, if her cherry bomb self feels more like a bloated whale than babe, nobody is seeing any action. This is definitely one of those proceed-at-your-own-risk situations.

Women and gas. It's an unmentionable. And yet, and I know this is shocking, women fart. Most women, though, would prefer that you didn't know this.

I'll use me as an example as embarrassing as this will be. When I was pregnant with the twins, after a night hanging out with our best friends, I bent over to tie my shoes and accidentally tooted. It was audible. The room was silent. Everyone heard it and reflexively turned my direction. It was like time slowed down. My friend Jay crashed in with conversation like nothing had happened, but it had happened and there was no turning back and if it hadn't been me, I would have been laughing and they probably did as soon as I left the house. Now, I know for a fact that had one of the guys farted either silently or audibly, everyone would have been howling in protest and laughter both and he wouldn't be embarrassed at all.

Would being gassy stop a man from sex? Um, I don't think so. Would the fear of being squished, lest a fart escape interfere with a man's sex drive? I can't imagine it. It does with women. And face it men, you don't really like your woman farting, either. It isn't ladylike.

The biological differences start early: my baby daughter burst into tears at two weeks old when she heard her father burp for the first time. My baby son, at about 8 months, bugged out his eyes in surprise and then laughed uproariously the first time he connected his farting with his body. At three, he already tries to burp as many times in a row as possible--cheered on by his older siblings, of course.

I guess we aren't really equal, after all. We will know women have equal status when they can fart with impunity. Or maybe, women will be equal when men are just as embarrassed about farting as women are. Gender unfairness marches on.*

Cross-posted at Right Wing News

*Yes, I'm joking.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Women in sports and the military

What sports should be off-limits to a qualified woman?

Glenn Reynolds has been talking about his cousin, the ski jumper and how the International Olympic Committee banned them. And now, small colleges are boosting their enrollment with women's sports like wrestling and it has nothing to do with Title IX and everything to do with money.

I'm trying to think of a sport where a woman shouldn't play. That might not mean inclusion on a men's team, though. Women have significantly less upper body strength (and lower body strength) than men (the average woman) so the fight wouldn't exactly be fair in a sport like wrestling.

What if a woman is so extraordinary she could succeed on the men's team? And then does that mean men should be allowed to play on women's teams? My opinion is still that women shouldn't be in combat, if only because in hand-to-hand combat and things like trudging through the countryside she's at such a disadvantage, not to mention that a woman is victimized in brutal ways should she be captured.

It seems to me that it's possible to recognize the biological differences and go for as much inclusion as possible.

Monday, May 26, 2008

I Have One Nerve Left And Michelle Obama Is Sitting On It

I have one nerve left thanks to a toddler and his feuding siblings (actually, they get along pretty well), annnnnyway, Michelle Obama gets all over that one nerve. I've posted about her before (here, here, and here). Like I said, I find her the only compelling figure in this election. Hillary will say anything for power. Barack is as bland as butter-free toast; project all your hope and change onto the bland man. His blandness is what's so exciting about him. McCain knows what's right for everyone, if only we'll listen to his hoary-headed wisdom.

And then there's Michelle. Since Barack won't say what he really thinks, or not too often, Michelle steps in with her wit, wisdom and whine. Tom McGuire has more about her here. He says:

Ms. Obama has nailed down the "Whiny, Self-Absorbed Pessimist" demographic. Let's see if that becomes a key part of the Obama coalition.
Actually, I think "whiny, self-absorbed pessimist" is the Obama coalition.

Feminism's Fallout: Part II

Yesterday, I wrote about feminism's unintended consequences--namely that women end up feeling compelled to make one choice or else they betray the movement's ideals. That choice, to forgo having children in order to make their career mark, denudes women of their biology and deprives them of a choice.

Before I get to feminism's deleterious affects on men, I'd like to write a bit about the victim-mentality that has seeped into the DNA of even the most powerful of Western women. I am, of course, alluding to Hillary Clinton. Peggy Noonan wrote a must-read piece about great women leaders and how they never made excuses or blamed prejudice for their place in the world. Noonan says:

It is sissy. It is blame-gaming, whining, a way of not taking responsibility, of not seeing your flaws and addressing them. You want to say "Girl, butch up, you are playing in the leagues, they get bruised in the leagues, they break each other's bones, they like to hit you low and hear the crack, it's like that for the boys and for the girls."

And because the charge of sexism is all of the above, it is, ultimately, undermining of the position of women. Or rather it would be if its source were not someone broadly understood by friend and foe alike to be willing to say anything to gain advantage.
First, I'd like to say how pleased I am that Peggy Noonan reads my posts seeing as how "butch up" was the phrase that got me in trouble with the menfolk (well, some of them). It's nice to know that I'm on her radar. Second, to Ms. Noonan's point: Hillary Clinton embodies the problem with the women's movement. She was a party to her husband's victimizing of women and turns around now, to decry her own victimization. By whom? She does need to butch up. She has the benefit of being treated just like a man. She is not being condescended to. She is not being patronized. No, she is in a fight for the most powerful office in the land and she does women no favors when she weeps in self-pity and cries sexism when she's in a tight spot.

Eh, I'm not going to get to men again, today. I'm going to just stay with the victim mentality. It is tiresome and ubiquitous and it is holding women back. A woman will not ever become president if she plays the poor little girl. A woman will not receive respect at work or at home playing the victim. Even Jesus chided the martyr Martha and that was in a decidedly paternalistic environment.

Women who carry their victim status as a prized possession limit their world. Let me just be clear here: it's stomach turning to see anyone throw a protracted pity party. Who ever said life was easy? Women who want parity in what they describe as the "man's world" need to stop making excuses. They need to embrace equality. That means when a woman makes an accusation that sounds outrageous, the women who hear it will slow down, wait and reserve judgment because that's what a reasoned person, male or female, does. When they jump to the woman's defense because she has the benefit of ovaries, they make women look foolish.

I'm as eager as the next woman to see a great woman leader emerge in America. I don't see how it's going to happen when women continue to see themselves as victims. When Nancy Pelosi surrounds herself with her grandchildren and claims the power of her ovaries first and the power of her ideas second, women are bound to be viewed as ninnies.

Does this seem counter to what I wrote in my last post, where I wrote that fully buying feminist dogma limits a woman's choices--specifically motherhood? Well, here's the deal: a strong woman is a strong woman. The whole notion that a woman is weak by being a mother insults mothers. Conversely, a woman is not innately superior because she can birth. That belief is as sexist as believing that men are superior because they have testes.

Leadership means having bigger ideas, more internal fortitude, further foresight, deeper wisdom. Any person who exhibits these traits will have followers. Viewing oneself as a victim runs directly counter to being a worthy leader.

Feminism ceases to be relevant because to be a feminist is to be a victim. Any self-respecting woman wants no part of the victim talk. They want to be victors in all their endeavors. Success means being the best at whatever path one chooses. Real women wait for the post-feminist world where people are valued for their character and their accomplishments. Scratch that. They aren't waiting, they're created that world now. Feminists are being left behind.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Stuff You Should Know

What does Obama really believe? If you listen, he'll tell you.

And so will Michelle. Ugh. The woman needs to pipe down if she doesn't want criticism for saying stupid things.

I don't know what to think about this research that says cellphone use by pregnant women causes attention problems in the offspring, but it seems that cell phones might be more troublesome than we know. And here's the weird thing: when my iPhone is anywhere near the subwoofer, the subwoofer vibrates when I get a phone call or text or email. In fact, if the phone is near the radio, the radio goes static until it turns off again. They produce a huge EMF for being so small. At the rate people use phones now, the next generation will all be mentally retarded.

Want to see the droopiest ta-ta's ever? Evidently they fed one of the meanest mouths, too. Part of the Code Pink crowd's progeny. Ew, my eyes are still recovering. And just so you know, yes, sometimes bloggers get hate mail. Lovely. (We get love notes, too, so it all evens out.)

William F. Buckley built a road that I don't think conservative have been following for quite some time.

Crazy ants (not to be confused with my crazy aunts) are taking over Houston. I should be disturbed, but here's the disturbing part: if we get infested with them, they eat wires. No! Not that! They also eat fire ants, which is a good thing.

Is the world economy destabilizing? Yes. Are energy prices going to cause problems? Seems like they will.

Ann Althouse wants liberals to not speak their truth so people will take them seriously when it comes to Supreme Court Justices. Even if they don't say it, Ann, we know their judicial intentions. There's no hiding it.

Are conservatives out of ideas? Um, no. But the conservatives aren't running the Republican party right now. Neither are the libertarians. Right now, fat, happy, pseudo-dems are running the party and the only ideas they possess come from the Democrats. It's called liberalism lite and it sucks.

Part of this cross-posted at RWN.

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Women Say No To Science and Yes To Gay Porn

Hey, I could be a headline writer for The New York Times. I'm just that good. Well, what do you know? Women are free. Finally, after years of oppression, women are making their choices, even really smart, scientifically gifted women, and choosing what researchers think they shouldn't like: "soft sciences". Oh, and some women are turned on by gay porn and they're (shhhhh) heterosexual and female. Can a woman be any more free?

I don't think so.

Women are free and yet they prefer, for reasons researchers cannot fathom (oxytocin, brain differences, biology?) professions that were once and still are, the domain of....women. Shit. That just sucks. Women should be donning goggles and peering through microscopes with all the fervor of the typical knobby headed man-geek. And some are doing just that--just not enough to make everyone happy. Huh. Imagine, a woman claiming her right to choose and she's not choosing feminist enough, but feminism is all about choice. Oh, the irony:

The results were striking. The lower numbers of women in IT careers weren't explained by work-family pressures, since the study found computer careers made no greater time demands than those in the control group. Ability wasn't the reason, since the women in both groups had substantial math backgrounds. There was, however, a significant difference in one area: what the men and women valued in their work.

Rosenbloom and his colleagues used a standard personality-inventory test to measure people's preferences for different kinds of work. In general, Rosenbloom's study found, men and women who enjoyed the explicit manipulation of tools or machines were more likely to choose IT careers - and it was mostly men who scored high in this area. Meanwhile, people who enjoyed working with others were less likely to choose IT careers. Women, on average, were more likely to score high in this arena.

Personal preference, Rosenbloom and his group concluded, was the single largest determinative factor in whether women went into IT. They calculated that preference accounted for about two-thirds of the gender imbalance in the field. The study was published in November in the Journal of Economic Psychology.

It may seem like a cliche - or rank sexism - to say women like to work with people, and men prefer to work with things. Rosenbloom acknowledges that, but says that whether due to socialization or "more basic differences," the genders on average demonstrate different vocational interests.

"It sounds like stereotypes," he said in an interview, "but these stereotypes have a germ of truth."

I'll just speak for myself here. I'm a sucker for aptitude/personality/psychological testing and have taken many, many of them. One of the best is called Johnson-O'Conner an aptitude assessment. That means, not only do they study personality, they study a persons talents--such as fine motor, gross motor, music memory, spacial reasoning, verbal reasoning, etc. Well, the kind mentor who funded this testing for me was deeply dismayed at my results. He was an engineer and prided himself in his mathematical ability. Lo and behold, I scored higher than him in both higher mathematical ability and spacial reasoning. My aptitudes skewed toward engineering.....until my personality was factored in. That threw a monkey wrench in the works. I was so people-oriented, so verbal (I know, who would have thought it?), so excessively so, that no engineering job wouldn't work for me because the isolation and task-orientation, verses people-nature of the work, would make me crazy. In short, I'd get bored.

Alas, I ended up in alternative medicine, not unlike the women in the study. While I'm pretty good at reading an x-ray thanks to my spacial ability, my satisfaction comes from helping people. I know, I'm a disappointment to women.

Now, let's talk about the poor fellas for a minute. Dr. Helen notes that while women have more choices, the nerdy dudes might have less:
So men who are skilled at math may have less flexibility to branch out and go into other areas that involve dealing with others. If women must be equal in terms of pursuing hard sciences, wouldn't it also be fair that men should have to be equal to women in terms of verbal skills so that they too, could have more job flexibility?
But that's just it. I don't think everyone needs to be stroking out about women in hard sciences. Women choose. Men choose. And while there probably aren't as many, there are some amazingly verbal men who are scientists, I have a reader (you know who you are Kevin), who is a technological genius while possessing the verbal skills of a politician. To say that he enjoys a rewarding career and that the world is his oyster is an understatement. Should there be all sorts of research as to why most poor men are not as verbal and don't enter other professions like teaching, say (and there are amazing exceptions here, too)? Oh, pish-posh. People choose. There are biological reasons for this. We can beat the discrimination drum into eternity but estrogen and testosterone do change brains and therefore, change career choices. That's just life.

Is it possible to acknowledge that men and women are different and it's okay? And that individually, people can choose to be whatever they choose to be. And there will always be exceptions.

Oh, and Rand Sindberg says this in his snarkily titled post, "Math is Hard" (very funny, Rand):
Even if there is tremendous variation among individuals within genders (which there clearly is) it doesn't follow that there won't be average differences in traits between genders. For instance, when it comes to math, what Larry Summers noted (and lost his job over after some of the mature, rational, scientific women present got the vapors and had to hie to their fainting couches) was that in fact men have a much greater standard deviation than women. They have both more geniuses, and more morons, when it comes to higher mathematics, whereas women have more of a tendency to stay near the mean. And there are brilliant (individual) woman mathematicians and hard scientists. But that doesn't mean that we can therefore conclude that there are no statistical differences in these traits between men and women. And the fact that there are allows us to draw no conclusions about any particular man or woman (if I call Ms. Barnett illogical, it is because she conveys illogic, and has nothing to do with her genital configuration.) It remains perfectly reasonable, on a statistical basis, to make some broad statements about the genders ("men are like this and women are like that") without having to infer that every man is like this and every woman is like that.
Indeed. The man is correct. Using myself as an example yet again. Among women, I am in the higher 90th percentile for engineering. Super. But when men are added to the mix, my abilities suddenly get more average--somewhere in the 60%. So, that means that I'm better than the average guy engineering-talent wise, but not much. So there are gender factors here, too. Now, maybe I work my ass off and outperform my co-workers due to sheer sweat. That happens, too, but an equally hard-working, more gifted person, male or female, will have an easier time of it--at least as an engineer.

Oh, this is such painful stuff, unless, like Rand says, you look at each person as an individual. And that's the key. There will be gender trends, but in real life, it matters not. Forget skin color and gonads, what are you good at and more important, what do you want to do? Thankfully, we all have choices. Yes, women have choices now and they're choosing. The feminists just need to suck it up and accept that this is what success looks like.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

More Mating Madness

So I'm over at Gina's site poking around and whoa! DemocracyRules posts two tomes on what men and women want and cites the research to prove it. Very nice, concise synopsis of current research, by the way.

Here's the first one: What women want.

Here's the second one: What do men want? Part 1 (a part 2 is forthcoming because men are more complicated than women--hey! that's what he says).

Go read it. Interesting stuff.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

Men (NOT) At Work

Some people think men are opting out of society because society isn't kind to men. Maybe. I had been thinking it was the economy and worried that women in the work world just deflated a man's need to provide or something. Stupid idea, but I just threw it out there musing aloud. Turns out, there's an economic answer that makes a lot of sense. The economic slump (I don't think anyone is calling it quite a recession anymore, because how can a quarter of growth, no matter how slight be considered going backwards?) has not affected women in the same way it's affected men because they men are concentrated in certain job sectors. Aha! Now, that makes sense to me. But there's more, it gets worse, so sayeth Peter Coy of Business Week:

What’s going on? Simply put, men have the misfortune of being concentrated in the two sectors that are doing the worst: manufacturing and construction. Women are concentrated in sectors that are still growing, such as education and health care.

This situation is hardly good news for women, though. While they’re getting more jobs, their pay is stagnant. Also, most share households—and bills—with the men who are losing jobs. And the “female” economy can’t stay strong for long if the “male” economy weakens too much. (h/t khankrum)

Long term, it seems to me that even education and health care will slow. People need money to pay for college and health care. Around here, the census at the local hospitals is low. Yes, we're out of flu season, but people will put off elective or even needed procedures if they think they can get away with it. I've always been amazed how people will care for their cars, but not their bodies. Without health you can't work to even fix the car. But still, people can survive and be pretty sick for a long time and lots of people do. We'll know the economy is really bad when people start yanking out their teeth with pliers and college enrollments drop.

Speaking of college, is a four year degree worth anything? In some areas, I really don't know. There are a few years between now and my kids deciding their futures, which is a relief. To me, anything soft--history, literature, poly sci, etc.--is worthless. Not because those areas of study are worthless, to the contrary, our students don't get enough. However, most curricula you read these days doesn't inspire confidence and colleges filled to the brim with revisionists inspire less confidence. A four year degree seems like four years of brain washing and what's the result? A worthless degree that gets a grad no solid job. However, a degree in engineering, science, mathematics, etc. will definitely land a grad a job.

In addition, even if a person wants to be a writer or a more artsy fartsy generally, it's almost imperative to have a knowledge of technology. The world gets more complex and a foundational science knowledge helps with everything. So a four-year degree in something "hard" seems valuable. The rest of it, people can learn if they have a love of reading. Most of my history and literature understanding has come in my adult years just reading and being interested in things that didn't used to interest me.

Friday, May 16, 2008

We Find What We Are Looking For

Dr. Helen highlights some sexist dating advice. I think the commenters have it right. Most self-help books are aimed at women and as such, have a female bias, because most men don't read self-help books (usually).

Aside from sexist books, as a general principle, like attracts like. Bitter attracts bitter. Angry attracts angry. Happy attracts happy. Ambitious attracts ambitious. On and on it goes. So, for better or for worse, the person a person is in a relationship with is a reflection of that person on some level. Usually, the people share some fundamental beliefs about the world. But people do change, and I suspect, that this is where difficulties in relationships can arise.

As far as dating the divorced, Roger L. Simon had the best advice in the comments:

“Frankly, it’s self-evident to me that women are the more selfish of the sexes.”

Frankly, it’s self-evident to me [who else?] that human beings are human beings.

Leaving that behind, as a twice divorced man with children who dated a fair number of terrific and some not so terrific women, both divorced and single, I know I did one thing right: I didn’t waste a single second reading a self-help book of any kind. I just used common sense and didn’t make assumptions about anybody.

The problem as I see it is that common sense ain't so common and people assume because it's easier than looking in the mirror.

H/T Conservative Grapevine

Domestic Goddess, I Am


NOT.

Every once in a while the cooking bug bites and I get industrious. I make a mean lasagna, or rather, I can make one should I ever get the urge to make one. Last night, for reasons I can't fathom, the mood hit. The kids were getting the standard mac-n-cheese with all the trimmings, so I was in the kitchen anyway, why the hell not?

I'll tell you why the hell not. Lasagna, while easy, is not simple to make. It's the time factor that's annoying and about half way into it I remembered--oh yeah, it's the one hour of prep....argh! The load was lightened by a chat with a fellow blogger who was slowly getting himself drunk and philosophizing on why women had it easier because of our biological imperative. Essentially, if I understand correctly, we women are forced down the birth canal of life and that determines our mission whether we ever accomplish anything else or not. So, it's easy being a woman. We can be fuck ups in every other way, but if we're a good mother, all is forgiven. Our lives have had meaning. Interesting.

I'm not sure I buy his premise, because having fulfilled my biological imperative a couple times over, I still feel like I'm searching for ways to make my mark on the world and progeny doesn't fill the bill. Any crack whore can birth a child. Most kids grow up to be far more successful than their parents involvement would have predicted. And some kids who have everything turn out to be weasels. So, yeah, a mother is important, but to me, there is more to life for a woman than just mothering. And the mothering sword cuts both ways. If the kids turn out great, people figure they should. If the kids turn out bad, it will be the mother's fault.

And certain expectations come with mothering: like cooking. And by that count, I'm an abysmal failure. Except when I decide to cook, like last night. The aroma of sautéed garlic and onions wafting through the house. Mmmmmm..... I should sauté every night for the smell. Want to know how I made it? I can't really do a recipe because when I cook, I mangle recipes beyond recognition so they're my own, but I can give you a general idea of what I do....

1. Sauté garlic, four or five cloves, and half a chopped onion in a tablespoon of butter. Ground pepper to taste.

2. Add in as much ground beef as you like. Some like more saucy lasagna. Some like more meaty. Men tend to like meat. Load it up, ladies! Add salt and more ground pepper.

3. Add a bottle of spaghetti sauce. Now, I like a couple different sauces--Kroger's store brand actually has the most authentic, Italian red sauce. I know. It's weird, but it's really good. (They don't use too much sugar, which other brands tend to do.) I also like the organic version of Prego's mushroom sauce. People can be so snobbish in this area. Whatever. Most people who have high-falutin' ideas about red sauce don't know real Italians. The Kroger brand actually tastes most like Steve's grandma's sauce and she was from Italy and a fantastic cook, but I digress.

4. Cook the lasagna noodles. (Not too long.) Favorite noodles right now: Target's organic brand. Wow. Good stuff, but not all Targets carry it, unfortunately.

5. Get the ricotta (none of the low-fat stuff, are you kidding me? You want low-fat, you don't eat lasagna, okay?) out of the fridge and stir in some oregano and basil. Doesn't have to be fresh. It's nice if it is, but lets not get too anal. It's easier to work with when the mix is at room temp.

6. Grate the mozzarella. Don't tell me you buy the stuff grated. I don't know what they do to make it last without growing stuff on it, but it's not good. The big block is cheaper and make the kids grate it. They love to do it anyway. Now, here's how I trick ya. I buy one small block of really good mozzarella. That's the stuff that goes on top. The regular, cheapo brand goes in the middle. You don't even know the difference.

7. Put it all together. Start with the meat sauce and put it on the bottom of the glass dish. Next, put on the noodles, then the ricotta mixture, then the mozzarella, then the meat sauce and again with the pasta. Do this again and end with the good mozzarella on top. Now, if you like cheesier lasagna, you can put grated Parmesan on top of the ricotta at each level and then on top with the mozzarella.

Put in the oven for about 30 minutes at 375. The whole thing shouldn't take long because everything is warm, still. Lasagna is one of those things that tastes even better on day two. So sometimes, I just put one together, refrigerate it, and cook it a day or two later.

I'll talk more about lucky domestic goddesses later. For now, I'm sharing my flash of brilliance. Watch it people, it's like a shooting star. There and gone.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

He's Just Not That Into You Because You're A Dumbass & A Vegetarian

Back in the day, and it was some time ago, when I was in college there were girls who had lists of what they found exciting and acceptable in a man. Heck, I knew guys who had the same thing. For me, there was no list and no type. Whatever. You were either interesting and hot or you were not. That's rather broad and did bring a number of different guys through my life. The "List People" seemed rather self-limiting. And who wants to find out that they "measured up" and made all the checks after the fact?

Anyway, Karol Sheinen talks about a NYT article about single people eliminating dates based on the books they read (or, these days, the books they don't read, because 99% of people including the pretentious snobs pretending to read Proust being written about in the Times don't read at all). And then she talks about shared food habits and how it can make or break a relationship or at least strain it:

I.C. is the first boyfriend I've had that I feel matches my eating habits almost exactly (and I don't just say that because I'm in lalaland over him, sending him texts all day declaring my affection and wearing his shirt because it smells like him). We nearly always share every dish we get. He's slightly more adventurous than me, and I love mushrooms while he hates them, but otherwise we're pretty close to a perfect fit.

So what matters to you? Books, food or neither? Is the perfect person the perfect person no matter what they read or eat?

Does it seem strange that after years of marriage I haven't given this much thought? A certain level of comprehension and ability to communicate seems to be important. The ability to read and picking up a book now and again displays some level of intellectual curiosity. But does the reading topic matter? It's nice to have shared food and reading interests, but necessary? I guess a man with an obsession with craw fish could be a stopper. Craw fish stinks like shit and old fish. So maybe....

These are definitely deal breakers:
Wrong kind of reading
Wrong kind of eating
Both could break the deal
Neither matters if you love the person
  
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